we remain
forever close in the distance
of our own world
sharing the nearness
spaced by comforts
of our own choosing
.
we remain
a picture reflected in the lights
of our own breath
sharing the elusiveness
within the aches
of our tired heart
.
we remain
a grail
of our own heart
yet spaced in between heaven
and the tips of our finger
is a safe embrace that calls us
.
to remain..
.
.
.
sigh ! so amny emotions thiese lines evoke …
(sorry for the typos)
So many emotions do these lines evoke !
haha! the emo must have done this to you..
yea lady..
Provocative yet sophisticated. I like your blog.
thank you neutral..
I remain ever enthralled with the beauty that is fiveloaf’s creative and sensitive mind.
tq bodhi..
This is such an evocative poem, and also humbling, if that makes sense. there is an humbleness in reflection – recognition to love and another human soul
joanny
thanks joanny..
As we allow the spaces of our relationships to be filled up with comforts, the closeness is lost. This poem, showing wisdom and sensitivity, rocks.
tq dan..
beautiful and adore the last stanza….”we remain a grail of our own heart…”…love the image of this….bkm
tq barbara..
“is a safe embrace that calls us
to remain..”
very nice
thanks evelyn aka filling a hole..
ha! I am an a.k.a.!
also like this
“sharing the elusiveness
within the aches”
haha so sorry if you feel offended..
Yes, this virtual world of sharing does allow us to safely speak our hearts and share with those who care to hear…I hear yours loud and clear….
haha thanks heartspell..
I like this.
It comes across as some really interesting wisdom.
Very reflective. enjoyed this
thanks richard..
some relationships bloom but just dont bear the fruit.
🙂
was that a smile in consent or a philosophical one?
consent trish..
just wanted to clarify 🙂
Wow! You changed your theme! Very lovely!
i didnt change my theme neutral haha- this was my usual if you have followed me close enough..
I am sorry. I usually read through mobile. I think there’s difference. Sorry. 😦
no need to be sorry neutral haha- what i mean is we just got acquainted and before long, you would have discovered how diverse my poems are haha! i mean i love to try out new concepts by the day! cheers!
Thank you for understanding. I would really love to dig deeper on learning from your writings. Thank you so much. Have a nice day! 🙂
feel free to browse anytime..
a magical peace! i feel enchanted and… warmer indeed 😉
😉 thanks meg..
The poem is an embrace. Lovely. I like it.
tq jamie..
I too was taken by the concept of:
“yet spaced in between heaven
and the tips of our finger
is a safe embrace that calls us”.
To think of that, I guess that is where you are!
tq stafford..
sharing the nearness/spaced by comforts/of our own choosing
i loved these lines. the repetition in many of your pieces, i’ve come to recognize, is a style of your own 🙂
thanks samantha..
i wish i can write and put my emotions into words like this. these are heart-spoken words. i am in awe. 🙂
hi fiveloaf, i’m back… thanks for the nice comment you left at SiS’ review of my blog.
🙂 oh yes you can the versatile one… !
Such a wonderful and beautiful piece with every bit of intimacy the poem itself evokes. Bravo!
thanks tekia..
Good poem! And it will remain so 🙂
tq ina..
The second stanza just rocked!
around the clock? haha..
“we remain
a picture reflected in the lights
of our own breath
sharing the elusiveness
within the aches
of our tired heart”
love the whole poem but these lines stood out for me, esp the tired heart..
here is my link: http://mypoetrywriting.blogspot.com/2011/04/family-time.html
.
thanks chim..
Nice one, Fiveloaf, quite ‘soft’ for you, quite laid back.
Like the grail of our heart phrase.
http://jessicasjapes.wordpress.com/2011/04/04/moments/
yea laidback instead of being assertive like a real macho man haha..
The safety of distance? I like it!
thanks you seabell..
magical and your words are a grace..
A++
thanks jingle..
Very powerful poem, fiveloaf. Your words resonate well.
JP
http://tasithoughts.wordpress.com/2011/04/01/your-smile/
more than 5hp lol..
mmm nice piece…. we remain, yet we choose to remain, we’re not forced to remina, except by what we’ve chosen.
I think I got it 😉
thanks scott
This is something what I needed at the moment….thank you:)
oh and did it hurt? sorry lol..
This is moving; it will be on my mind all day.
keeping it is a flatter honeyhaiku..
A nice cut..!!
thanks jag..
I also have a poem Remain 🙂 it’s funny how our words cross the universe of the poetry hehe. Your Remain poem is very deep and I like the message! Thank you Kris!
thanks broken.. great minds think alike i think!
Absolutely stunning My Dear!
Enchantingly beautiful… Loads of Love xx
tq olivia..
yet spaced in between heaven
and the tips of our finger
what a glorious thought
haha 😉 by a glorious man
beautiful!!
tq sherrie
Another gem from fiveloaf. : )
another gem?
wow..
tq dakshi
Spaced by comforts of our own choosing…how true! Another great poem.
thanks panda..
This is utterly beautiful fiveloaf…..especially the 2nd verse. I love the lines, “we remain//a picture reflected in the lights//of our own breath”
Love it!
Gloria
thanks gloria
Thank you for an evocative piece. You make us think.
did i? thanks donna..
One word. Bravo.
tq dennis
Very ethereal. Great one.
ethereal is a nice word tiger..
“we remain
a grail
of our own heart”
…deep!!
You my friend, are a brilliant writer.
thanks david and what a flatter!
great poem
thanks burr
yes, to remain… love this one
tq robin
beautiful…the last few lines gave me chills
chills? chills?
I’m left breathless.
breathless krm? haha..
very thoughtful poem. 🙂
thanks priyanka..
The sweetness in what’s remain..
thanks kris..
Great emotional poem. love the juxtaposition of ‘forever close in the distance’.
thanks jack
” … spaced in between heaven
and the tips of our finger …”
What a captivating work of imagery! Wonderful ~
It is always a treat to visit your nook …
its not imagery becca haha! its real! its real!
Beautiful as always 🙂 as yes check this page I nominated you for the versatile blogger award.
http://iambeingme.wordpress.com/the-versatile-blogger/
thanks ibeingme..
quite captivating ..loved reading …
oh oh quite? ok haha!
such a deep reflection on human nature… brilliant poem Five.
thanks sam..
Nice rhythm!
tq alejandra
Thoughtful and reflective. I like it a lot.
thanks teri
Nice!
thanks sparrow
Captivating! I really liked this!
tq thoughts
Balm for my soul.
Thank you!
luckily it wasnt chicken soup haha!
We are always so close to others, and yet so far away behind our skins
you can see it that way too!
Beautiful words! They stir up quite a few emotions, but mainly I’m left feeling reminded to remain in the present and not worry about tomorrow. 🙂
yea..
“between heaven and the tips of our finger” -love that!!!
tq lola..
Stunning poem, beautiful idea. Thanks for sharing it with us. hugs, pat
tq pat..
Simply beautiful, my friend!
thanks mair..
Wonderful poem.
thanks chris..
love the second stanza, really beautiful. thank you.
thanks blackglass..
they have said it all..
Someone is Special
haha oic sis..
I could probably read this a 1000 times and still find new meanings in it. Beautiful, elusive, enigmatic.
tq fyodor