Lee and Lee

There is this Law firm (LEE & LEE Associates) owner who is very superstitious. His fengshui master told him that he can only hire lawyers with the surname “LEE” to work for him, and strangely he manages to get all the lawyers with the surname LEE to work for him!

One day my friend Tuna Singh who has just graduated from a law school applied for a job with LEE’s Law firm. He was asked to come for an interview.

During the interview everything went smoothly. Except that at ,the end, LEE told TunaSingh…

LEE : I’m actually very implessed with your resume, but there is one problem.

Tuna : What is the problem sir?

LEE : Well you see . . . I only hire lawyers with the surname LEE or at least closely related to “LEE” but your name is Tuna Singh. I dont see it has any relation to “LEE” so…

Tuna : Are you a racist?

LEE : Sorry, but this is what my fengshui master told me.. I dare not defy his request.

Tuna : Ok, I understand…

LEE : Thank you for your time and effort.

That night TunaSingh came to tell us his problem and asked us if we could help him to come up with a name that is closely related to “LEE”. After hours of yam Seng, we finally found a name that is 100% suitable to him.

Next day TunaSingh went back to find LEE…

LEE : Eh . . . TunaSingh, I thought I told you we only hire lawyers with names that are closely related to “LEE?’

Tuna : Yes ! That’s the reason why I come back here. To get the job!

LEE : But your name does not have any relations with “LEE..!”

Tuna : Oh don’t you worry! I have consulted my Chinese friends… They say I am a LEE.

LEE : Huh? You are a LEE? What LEE?

Tuna : “Bangga-LEE” Sir!

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(No offence to my Punjabi , Singh, Indian readers.

(Author Unknown)

Burnt Sand

The seabirds have flown

The grasses have turned brown

What are we but burnt sand

If hearts that bind no longer shine

But wilt in the golden meadow.

Do You Have a V?

A woman is at home when she hears someone knock at the door. She goes to the door and opens the door to find a man standing there.

He asks the lady, “Do you have a vagina?” She slams the door in disgust.

The next morning she hears a knock at the door, it is the same man and he asks the same question of the woman, “Do you have a vagina?” She slams the door again.

Later that night when her husband gets home she tells him what has happened for the last two days.

The husband tells the wife in a loving and concerned voice, “Honey, I am taking tomorrow off to be home just in case this guy shows up again.”

The next morning they hear a knock at the door and both run for the door.

The husband says to the wife in a whispered voice, “Honey, I’m going to hide behind the door and listen and if it is the same guy I want you to answer ‘yes’ to the question because I want to see where he is going with it.”

She nods yes to her husband and opens the door.

Sure enough the same fellow is standing there and asks the same question.

“Do you have vagina?”

“Yes,” she says.

The man replies, “Good! Then Would you mind telling your husband to leave my wife’s alone and start using yours?”

(Author Unknown)

What went wrong?

Political analysis in Malaysia

The results of the last GE was spectacular. There was new found hope on the faces of everyone and on the streets, there was an air of contentment permeating the grins of passers-by. Malaysians finally rose out from finger fiddling, and overcame its years of intimidation succumbing to the antics of a barbaric regime. Most importantly, the rakyat experience first hand what it was like to be united. Harmony once again became the bedrock of a diversified country once shattered by self centred politicians who divided to rule. Malaysians themselves overcame shame and showed the world, we can bring about change without so much as a bloodshed. There are tears in the eyes of fellow citizens of differing races shaking hands and hugging one another for that momentous victory. Everyone rejoices!

What made that change happened?

On the ground, the new government was brought about by souls getting tired and fed up with rampant corruption happening in broad daylight. Government contracts were awarded to cronies at exorbitant prices and to those accused, the old government offered protectionist policies overpowering the MACC in all its good intentions, and for as long as you are with them, and as long as you are with them, thieving mice all have a hand in the loot. When funds were low, so are their fiscal policies. The old government readied themselves to any country who could save them from the entrapment without considering if such policies could compromise its citizens security or the country’s sovereignty. As if that wasn’t good enough, they got their sidekicks to stir up racial and religious sentiment to shore up support. Polarisation was in full play whilst funds were continually plundered as politicians readied themselves for an ultimate deplete of a lifetime. To glorify themselves by resorting to hooliganism. But as fate would have determined the new winner, in one mighty swoosh that thundered down like Thor’s hammer, the regime was crippled. That swoosh of justice came from the spectacular landslide win given to the previous opposition and their life saving, country saving manifesto. The rakyat became the judge.

But after almost a year of a change in government, the rakyat has witnessed an ironical hattrick win by the opposition in three consecutive by-elections. Three wrongs doesn’t exactly make a right is a popular adage and how true it is thus, what actually went wrong? Let us examine…

The fiasco started with the previous government fanning ill-will riding on religious bigotry heightened by concerns about ICERD and the dangers of one race losing their rights under the new government. That ignited a chain of consoling speeches by the new government, not helped by the black shoe saga and the eponymous flying car slam-dunked in by a gamut of swashbuckling ministers. Further to this are the rate of absorbency re dubious opposition party members switching to the new camp at an alarming rate. That mass infiltration to the public only irks their confidence, one wonders the meaning of a general election when the leopard was already traded for a lion to see the spots of the leopard flung back on the lions torso. Thus, they are technically indifferent. What more, who then would be responsible for the public accounts audit? Why must a flurry of noted clowns with questionable ethics be absorbed into the winning party? This kind of polyandrous mathematics does not bode well with the public who already fulfilled their national obligation by voting them out through the ballot boxes to see them sprung back to life like bobbleheads released from captivity boxes. Subsequent to this, the public were again jolted off their seats by the retracting back of election manifestos annotated inside the new government’s Buku Jingga — one would have suspected it was hindered by our coffer crisis, later to be told that manifestos are merely just manifestos, not to be taken seriously. Not that the public doubted the capability of Tun in handling and managing crisis. But manifestos, like promises, needs to be fulfilled. Holding it back is tantamount to breaking the promises given to the rakyat. Why wouldn’t it be? Should anyone be comfortable with a government that lies to win?

The latest unwise decision involves the relinquishing of our participation in the Rome statute, the reasons which are allegedly tied to the spinning by the old government (now opposition) to garner support from the conservatives. Malaysia Baru, with all its intentions, has readied its citizens for change and the various races saw beyond colors to unite for a common reason — to see Malaysia rise again from the ashes, and the corrupt perpetrators punished, thus the overwhelming landslide mandate given. Resorting to the old ways is akin to keeping new wine in old skins. As the bible says, the old skins would eventually break and vice versa, old wine inside new skins. Today the public also learnt of the upholding of ninety percent of bumi quota into the Matriculation programmes. Would we expect future loyalty from those whom were conveniently side-lined when they scored more than 5 A’s in their SPM, to be designated elsewhere?

As concern Malaysians continues with their humdrum lives, the currency exchange sank into oblivion. It is as if the new government has lost touch with the ground. Not helped by the lack of discourses one could engage with the public which is the bedrock of every democracy. Perhaps what is ground breaking made too big a gap and everything just fell in. Wrong footed policies including the idea of having a Third National Car only gave reasons for the old government to ridicule the new. On the ground, more and more online medias as well as the main ones are spinning stories from where the new policies took off when situations are not fully explained. And without a solid economic transformation that brings value to its citizens, the train jumps off track and with it, the rakyats confidence. Even though some ill gotten gains may have spilled back to the banks during these difficult times. For whatever reasons the innocent were punished for. Thus, whatever that needs to be done to the economy must happen right now. Nothing loses the rakyats confidence more than when it hits their pocket and a government habitually asserting that they lack funds. If that is so, then why the Third National car then?

Last but not the least, if the hattrick win by the current opposition doesn’t convince you that the new government is heading the wrong way thinking that protectionist policies may garner you more votes from the conservatives, think again. The old government would not allow that bouncy image of a new Malaysia splattered in glorious colors except for one. Perhaps you have also forgotten that PAS was pulped during the GE for all the racist goodies they insinuate, not by the non-bumis but by the progressive bumis themselves! And if that hattrick does not convince you enough that you are purportedly going against the wishes of the citizens of a progressive contemporary Malaysia who wanted nothing more than the country saved, nothing else will. The minds of its citizens have changed. And this might be the only chance we ever get back on track!

For all the right things the new government swiftly did that saw the arrest of several crooks and the retrieval of ill-gotten gains in gigantic proportions, it is yet to see them being swiftly brought to justice. And where these monies landed to! We knew that from the way their politicians speak louder today than when they were in the government. But if by the next election, the perpetrators of our sanctity is not punished by the due process of our court, you can bode farewell to the historic support given you. By then this alert would have been history, and the country too late to be saved.

#tunm #tunmahathir #primeministerofmalaysia #tundrmahathir #pakatanharapan

Uncontrollable

This world needed two sets of rules to regulate. One, for men to abide with and the other, for the place or the environment men lives in. Because men stupendously destroys his own environment and everything within his reach, then, men destroys himself.
Men, must in other words be controlled, before they become uncontrollable. Ever wonder how men left behind massive monuments like the Pyramids of Giza or the Great Wall of China without people in it?

Likewise, for great men that they revere to, they encast their achievements on stone steles or encase them inside catacombs, thus making relics out of them, after they expired. As for the insignificant rest, to dust they all head to.
Thus, when we encounter a well regulated country with everything running smoothly and efficiently, we all know that the two sets of rules are constantly in motion and cogged, with the strictest of enforcement. If not, men would have run it down, like how they ran everything down, and in the end, gave us lost civilizations.”
– Kris Lee 2019.

Chneh Meh Kay

(Version in Hokkien)

Chneh Meh Kay

Tok Tiok Tharng

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(Version in English)

A blind chicken

Pecks a worm!

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About this saying:~

This phrase/saying is commonly used to describe how luck could strike undeserving people the same way a chicken , though blind, could peck worms.

The author/owner has compiled for record, a collection of early Hokkien sayings, proverbs, rhymes and ditties to capture the essence and spirit of his hoi polloi, a community originating from the southern province of Fujian, China where individuals climbed aboard bum boats, crossing the South China Sea to settle in faraway lands to escape the brewing civil unrest and a way out from hardship carrying along with them in their journey, nothing except their trademark ponytails and their beliefs, very much rooted in Confucianism. These ditties retell their story and their lifestyle way back then so that the younger generation can gain an insight and foothold to their origin..

Ton-Tin

“When one loses at the gambling table, one can either swiftly stand up and leave quietly or stay to sharpen one’s skill by deepening one’s anguish. One has no right to accuse the croupier or worse, corrupt the entire deck that has already been distributed. That is the trait of a loser everyone abhors.

In this scenario, the loser in his endeavor to stay relevant turns crafty thus he devices a ton-tin scheme where unbeknownst to the stakehouse, he manipulates the game by convincing all the naive gamblers to be his cohort because when no one wants to lose, everyone is kept on their toes, thus, he himself is kept safe.’

Reunion table

Reunion is held on the first day of Chinese New Year. The servings on a reunion table according to Chinese tradition signifies abundance. Hence it is customary to have as wide an array of food available on this night. In contemporary society, fad and convenience has taken over tradition. Rarely does one still find whole chickens, suckling pigs, sharks fin, abalones, sea cucumbers, and all kinds of mushrooms and fishes being served except on important occasions as appeasing deities on the altar tables.

A Better Denominator

Sports is a better denominator for world peace. It speaks a common lingo the whole world understands. And sportsmanship rules are abided by every participant. Those who breaks it gets penalized beit banned, disqualified or having their titles stripped off in disgrace. No need for weapons.

Those in business also knows that most deals got done on the golf courses than in the boardroom.

Thus from where we came from, in our own country, some arseholes need to learn that centuries old disputes could be settled backdoor because of friendship inculcated through sports. Instead of using it to create more tension.

Perhaps some arseholes should learn how not to get emotional and mind other people’s business, when our own train has jumped track eversince.

Ang Pow Giving

On the first day of Chinese New Year as Confucianist practice dictates, the entire household of an extended family would tidy themselves up, all nicely coiffured before presenting themselves to the head of the household, (generally the matriarch) to receive special blessings and ang pows (red colored packets containing money symbolizing good luck, prosperity, great health and joy). As receiving ang pows is hierarchical, so it is with the givers, each taking turns distributing whilst juniors kow tow and wish ‘Keong Hee Huat Chye’ as a mark of respect to the givers. In our family we went a step further by serving tea to the elders. It is also customary that once a child got married, they are obligated to give ang pows to their parents. The unmarried are exempted from ang pow giving because to the Chinese, they are still rated a child. Thus, any family members can receive ang pows for as long as they remained single. In our Hokkien tradition, only the womenfolk gives away ang pows. Reason is that the menfolk are supposedly the breadwinners of the family whilst the womenfolk are in charge of household affairs.

This is my extended family.

1st pic- my grandma Gek Kee, receiving blessings from my great grandma, matriarch Saw Kit, at Boon Siew Mansion. Generally as a senior in the family herself, my grandma is no longer entitled to ang pows but I guess that also depends on the generosity of individuals and the wealth of each family.. Matriarch Saw Kit’s life sized bronze statue still graces the Home of the Infirmary, Penang.

2nd pic- Aunt Guat Eng, Aunt Gim Ean (deceased), Aunt Guat Hong, Aunt Loh Ean, Uncle Kah Poh (deceased), unidentified Aunt and my mom (deceased). Aunt Guat Hong and 2nd Tniau Seng Leong kow towed.

3rd pic- Tiny tots group pic with matriarch. Kah Heng (deceased), Kah Bee, and Kah Kheng (deceased).

An extended family has added advantages except for privacy and at least three generations of one household lives and stays together. That was the in -thing of that period for well to do family’s with big houses.

Images copyrighted. Circa 50s.

Lift the Veil

“We must all learn to lift the veil of colors and belief from our eyes so as to see beauty in diversity which engulfs us and places us into this big blue marble that won’t come again, if we fail to cherish it.

We must look at talent and sincerity, not beauty plastered on people’s faces or that which covers or adorn their body.

We need to restore sanity and sanctity by behaving nice and harmless towards everyone, and heighten our sensibility towards nature and its aroma, its sights and sounds and wonders, and be willing to accept part ownership to this globe which belongs first to they who comes before us.

With these things we do, we would hover up the ladder of Utopianism and strut forward towards achieving the idea of self governance without the interference of trying greedy governments. And stop stereotyping people according to caste, beliefs, race, states or even continents.

God gave every creature in this world he create differently sized brains and to us humans, he endows us with the biggest.

But that is for us to develop perfection, not competition and to develop charity, not scarcity so that triumph would eventually be ours so we could conquer the entire universe and witness it’s magical frontier. Ignore those who does nothing but plant seeds of public disobedience and deception.

Accomplishment is learning and knowing when to stop drifting. Sow seeds of goodness to others, preaching love , acceptance and forgiveness instead of harping on faults and learn how to laugh. Look at the brighter, lighter side of life instead of brooding over your lacks. Stop airing your minuscule grouses which may affect other people’s lives. Learn how to laugh at yourself.

Share your wealth. Help the underprivileged, the oppressed, the weak and the sick. And know that everyone has exclusive rights to their own belief, rights to live, rights to choose, and rights to speak, to create and think. For as long as they did not harm, hurt, disrupt, destroy or kill others and the planet we all lived in. Stand up and speak out against unruly lawmakers and bad laws. Silence only breeds them.

When all these are observed, then can we truly be on the road towards one nationhood under the big umbrella we call sky.”

– Kris Lee 2019.

Gallantry

“A man cannot give up his gallantry in exchange for truce with his partner of the opposite sex. Even though a woman may feel safer and secure with a compliant man she can dominate, her esteem for him will wean off eventually , once she notices her all familiar ‘ knight in shining armor ‘ losing grip over his own identity of being a man. The symptom begins with her telling others that she is the one who wears pants in her family.? Well well…
I am not saying men must deny the rightful privileges accorded to the female specie. I am not telling you to treat her badly. All I am saying is that if you have reasons to believe that your partner erred, be firm and stand solid on your ground when you spell it out to her. Let her see the knight within you ooze out from the cavalry in which she secretly craves. But never, never ever appease her unsettledness with apologies just because you longed for a moment of peace. These are the things most men habitually does that you shouldn’t do. The female specie is lousy at reasoning and logic. They fail to understand the dynamics of how she could be the root cause of his wussy behavior. Deep down, woman indeed craves for a hero who could sweep her off her feet, one which she was totally smittened with a long time ago. It is in-built within their system. It is something most women are unaware of and is affirmed in every Disney cartoon movie. A woman wants and craves for a knight in shining armor. Not a minion hiding under her pinion .
Thus, to the man, behave like how a rightful man behaves and if possible, behave like a gentleman.”

Secret of Success

The secret of success is not in keeping opportunities to yourself but in giving opportunities to others. The goodness echoing behind you is more valuable than the praises others sing in front of you. Always stay humble.

Inkling

Some people forgo righteousness, moral decency and good values, preferring to side richest, caste, seniority and companionship, for as long as they benefit. Some people tries to stay relevant by using others as their trampoline. Some people create hypes to cut losses. Some people have an uncanny inkling to always side the wrong people.

A change of government is good. But a change of mindset is even better. Otherwise, democracy could only mean a change of clothes.”

What Chinese Did

I wonder what the Chinese did to this world when having a little more money makes everyone suspicious of you? Throughout the course of history, was there a moment where the Chinese set out to colonize anyone? No. All they did was to go in search of friendship and trade.

In world history, China itself was colonized a few times.

When the Siamese and Javanese paid homage to China in the early days of the Malacca Sultanate, it was not by duress. They seek China’s help to make South China Sea safe again because it was inundated with pirates which China successfully did in the spirit of friendship and peace. The British did nothing. Thus, Siam and Java felt obligated. Did China then invade and take over Thailand and Java (currently Indonesia)? No.

When the Sultan of Malacca decided not to pay homage to Siam and Java but to China direct after he found out that both of these countries which he pays homage to uncannily pays homage to China, did China colonise Malacca? No. Instead it got the King of Siam upset who then sent his battleships over to attack Malacca but rescinded after they were defeated by the Sultan which marks the period where Siam cease control of Malacca where it once belonged to them.

Read your history.

When Nigeria and Sri Lanka took loans from China and found out that they can’t service the loans, did China colonise Sri Langka and Nigeria? No they did not. Instead China wrote off one debt and tries to salvage the airport it gave loan to the other. And what did China get themselves into? Only this. People accusing them of economic colonization. Maybe in your mind, China should behave like a commercial bank and auction off these countries to the highest bidder to recover their bad debts instead?

Does that sound more ideal to you?

When countries like ours takes massive loans from China, do you really think China doesn’t know you can’t pay them back? The same way China knew the other poorer countries which took loan from them can’t pay them back?

If a good friend takes a personal loan from you, will you lend it to him knowing he can’t pay you back?

A lot of times, as a Chinese I can vouch for this. We will. Without collateral even. Because we can understand how hard life is like when one has no money. And we work hard from scratch without grants or aid. No race can understand money more than the Chinese. Doesn’t commercial banks only gives out loans with collateral and a guarantee?  If what the banks does are legitimately business and earns interest from you, what is the difference between China as a wealthy country giving out loans to you the same way he gave loans to others? The difference is China is not getting anything back because with such low interest, China could have invested it themselves with their multitude of amazingly talented entrepreneurs. What more? They could have watched you die off and be colonized by other countries you took loan from. To prevent that from happening, they gave it to you. But do you appreciate it?

China didn’t colonise us. China could if they wish to. But they didn’t. All they wanted was a rail throughout the entire world where their goods can be shipped out just as fast as they were produced. If the rail is a means of access from them to you, isn’t it Vice versa a means for us as well?

So what is this fuss about people who knows you’re in a dilemma trying to help you out in times of need but instead of saying thank you, all you can think of is getting suspicious over their ulterior motive that makes you want and went to side those that history has proven to be colonizers? Like I say, China has multitudes of creative entrepreneurs. We are but a thorn on their back.

The reason why China is encouraging their citizens to venture abroad is because if they don’t , all the money they amass wouldn’t mean a thing if the citizens invest it into their own country and as a result , they were left with as of today, 50 million untenanted houses and apartments filled with nothing but smog because the citizens are too busy buying too many cars and having too many industries!

So, stop getting suspicious over them!

And look at yourself in the mirror! Ask yourself if you have the generosity inbuilt within all Chinese to help others and always did it in the spirit of friendship and harmony? No you don’t. Let’s face it!

All you can think of is wanting to control the world the way your forefathers did. If not, you’d secretly want to destroy everything that China owns! .And if you can’t do that, you’d destroy the world! And you are so lowly, I think you are even afraid of your own shadow! Why didn’t you get worried when the Shell, Exxon, BP and Texaco Service Stations are worldwide? McDonald’s? Prudential? Apple? Stanchart?

With your kind of thinking, I am a little worried for you.

Civil Liberty

Nothing infringes the civil liberties of man more than uncivilized man, who uses the basis of your belief more oftenly your religion, to reshape you to whom they like you to be, so they can control you, and use you to their liking.

Prodigal Son

If your brother decided not to work the fields but travels the world making a fool of himself, then comes back as a prodigal son and your father welcomes him home, prepares a bath, gave him some new clothes and food, and gave him one talon because he says your brother deserves it, whilst you have been toiling all your life, laboring from morn till sunset in the fields sacrificing a life of your own to be with your father who also thinks you deserve equally, just one talon for your effort for always being with him all your life, that my friend if you sink it in, is communism. Not democracy. Because your father loves one not less than the other despite what each does or the difference in journey in life each has taken. And that is the peril of Christianity for you.

Social Engineering

Social engineering begins with the young. Thus, the ultimate giveaway of good governance is by the study of its education policy. The direction of a country can also be gauged by what is being fed to the schools through its syllabuses.