Local Call

An American decided to write a book about famous churches around the world.

So, he bought a plane ticket and took a trip to Orlando, thinking that he would start by working his way across the USA from North to South.

On his first day, he was inside a church taking photographs when he noticed a golden telephone mounted on the wall with a sign that read.

‘$10,000 per call’.

The American, being intrigued, asked a priest who was strolling by what the telephone was used for.

The priest replied.

“That is a direct line to Heaven and for $10,000 you can talk to God”.

The American thanked the priest and went along his way.

Next stop was in Atlanta.

There, in a very large cathedral, he saw another golden telephone, with the same sign under it.

He wondered if this was the same kind of telephone he saw in Orlando and he asked a nearby nun what its purpose was.

She told him.

“That is a direct line to Heaven and for $10,000 you can talk to God”.

“OK, thank you,”

said the American.

He then travelled all across America, then onto Europe, England, Japan, and New Zealand.

In every church he saw an identical golden telephone with the same.

‘$10,000 per call’

sign under it.

The American decided to travel to China, to see if China had the same phone.

After he landed in China, he went into the first church he found.

There was the golden telephone, but this time the sign under it read.

’40 Cents per call.’

The American was surprised so he asked the priest about the sign.

“Father, I’ve travelled all over the world and I’ve seen this same golden telephone in many churches.

I’m told that it is a direct line to Heaven, but in all of them the price was $10,000 per call”.

“Why is it so cheap here?”

The priest smiled and answered.

“You’re in China now son…….”

“THIS IS HEAVEN,”

(Author Unknown)

“so it’s a local call’.

Chinese Medicine Made Simple.

“Western medicine is complicated whereas Chinese medicine is simple. To the Chinese sinseh, every single bodily malfunction boils down to heatiness, boils down to your liver. To heal your liver, they’d prescribe you bitter herbs to boil and drink. To speed up healing, you sleep. Under multifold layers of blanket.”

Flawed Since the Beginning

“Dear God, you don’t plant a tree in between two young naked teenagers and tell them not to eat the fruit. That is mischievous of you. Because you should know that every teenager is naughty, adventurous, and rebellious. And so they had fun. They did! Just like every loving child of yours would. But the one who wrote the bible termed it as disobedience, or sin. Why?

Had he never been a child before to understand what sin is? Sin is what you do that causes hurt or inconvenience to someone else. How did one bite of the forbidden fruit hurt you or inconvenience you?

But if these teens doesn’t rebel nor display naughty traits, wouldn’t they be classified as abnormal in today’s context? And what may I know do you want them to do inside the garden without clothes on and without tv or pub to go to? They are young, hot blooded, with an awakened libido. You want them to just stare at each other in full glory with gritted teeth and remain indignant towards each other? Because if they were to do as they were told by you, there wouldn’t be you nor me today. Nor Jacob, nor Sarah, nor Moses, nor Isaiah. They did what every natural growing up person would do. There’s no one else besides them. No one married them. It’s just her, and him. Unless you want to count the serpent in. You don’t consider that illegal fornication do you?”

Too Little

A PM in one country visited a kindergarten and asked them

“How much is the budget for each child’s food consumption per month?”

They told him: “$ 400.”

He said: “That is a lot .. “

And so they reduced it to $ 300.

Then he visited the prisons and asked them: “How much is the prisoner’s food budget per month?”

They told him: “$ 400 sir.”

He said:

“That is too little!.. Increase it to $ 1000!”

A minister accompanying him was appalled by the PMs strange decision so he asked him:

“Honourable PM, I am curious. Why reduce the budget for food for the kindergarten children but increases the allowance for the prisoners?”

The PM replied: “Do you really think that after leaving the Government service , people like us would end up in the kindergarten ?”

(Author Unknown)