Three Nuns

Three nuns sitting together chatting.
The first nun says to the second nun “ you won’t believe what I found in the father’s desk drawer!”
“What was it?” the second nun asks..
“It was a magazine full of pictures of naked women!” The first nun explained.
“What did you do?” The second nun asks.
“ I just closed the drawer and walked out.” Said the first nun.
Then the second nun says quietly “you won’t believe what I found in the father’s bottom drawer!”
The first nun says “what,what did you find?”
“ I found a whole bag full of condoms!!” The second nun answers.
“Well what did you do then?” Asks the first nun.
“ I poked a hole in every one with a needle!!” The second nun exclaimed..
That’s when the third nun said worriedly “oh shit..”

– Author Unknown

It was delicious

A New Yorker had an elderly mother on the West Coast. She lived alone and would frequently mention to her son that she was lonely. One day, the son entered a pet shop in Manhattan and told the owner that he needed a pet that would be good “company” for his lonely, older mother.
“Have I got the pet for you!” exclaimed the owner, “It’s a beautiful parrot that speaks five languages! He’s so entertaining, she’ll never be lonely.” “I’ll take it!” said the son, as the owner assured him that he could have it safely shipped across country.

A week passed, and the son was eager to hear how his mother was enjoying his gift. He called and after pleasantries, asked if his surprise had arrived. “Oh, yes, it arrived safely “ she assured him. “Well, how did you like it?” he asked. “It was delicious!” she replied.

“Delicious!?!, you ate that parrot? Mom, that bird could speak five languages!”

“Well, he should’ve said something.”

(Author Unknown)

UFO

A flying saucer landed at a gas station on a lonely country road. The two space aliens inside seemed completely unconcerned about detection; in fact, the letters “UFO” were emblazoned in big, bold letters on one side of their shiny craft. As the station owner stood and gawked in silence, paralyzed with shock, his young blonde attendant nonchalantly filled up the tank and waved to the two aliens as they took off.

“Do you realize what just happened?” the station owner finally uttered.

“Yeah,” said the blonde attendant. “So?”

“Didn’t you see the space aliens in that vehicle?!”

“Yeah,” repeated the blonde attendant. “So?”

“Didn’t you see the letters ‘UFO’ on the side of that vehicle?!”

“Yeah,” repeated the blonde attendant. “So?”

“Don’t you know what ‘UFO’ means?!”

The blonde attendant rolled his eyes. “Good grief, boss! I’ve been

working here for six years. Of course I know what ‘UFO’ means

‘Unleaded Fuel Only.'”

(Author Unknown)

Jesus Is a Doberman

A burglar breaks into a house on the richer side of town. Certain that there is nobody home. He searches for the most likely place to find a safe and he enters. Just as he does, he hears a voice. “I can see you and Jesus can see you”.

He stops in his tracks and stays perfectly still. He doesn’t budge and waits for several minutes. The voice repeats, “I can see you and Jesus can see you.” He carefully takes out his flashlight and shines a ting beam around. He sees a birdcage and inside is a parrot. “Did you say that”?” he asks the parrot. The parrot says again, “I can see you and Jesus can see you”. “Hah! So what. You’re just a parrot”.

“I might be just a parrot” replies the bird, “But Jesus is a Doberman!”

(Author Unknown)

The Great Archaelogists

A team of Archeologists came upon a cave.

Written on the wall of the cave, from left to right were the following symbols :

A woman 2. A Donkey 3. A Shovel 4. A Fish 5. A Star of David
They decided that this was a unique find and the writings were more than three thousands years old. They chopped out the piece of stone and had it brought to the museum where archeologists from all over the world came to study the ancient symbols.

They held a huge meeting after months of conferences to discuss what they could agree upon as the meaning of the markings.

The President of their society stood up and pointed at the first drawing and said :

“This look like a woman. We can judge that this race was family oriented and held women in high esteem.

You can also tell that they were intelligent, as the next symbol resembles a donkey. So, they were smart enough to have animals help them till the soil.

The next drawing looks like a shovel of some sort, which means they even had tools to help them.

Even further truth of their high intelligence is the fish, which means that if a famine hit the earth, whereby their crops didn’t grow, they would take to the sea for food.

The last symbol appears to be the Star of David which means they were evidently Hebrews. “

The audience applauded enthusiastically and the President smiled and said, “ I’m glad to see that you are all in the full agreement with our interpretations.”

Suddenly a little old man stood up in the back of the room and said, “ I object to very word.

The explanation of what the writings says is quite simple. First of all, everyone knows that Hebrews don’t read from left to write .. ….

Now, look again .. .. it now says :

“Holy Mackerel, Dig the Ass on the Woman. “

(Author Unknown)

Winking

A man with a winking problem applies for a position as a traveling salesman and goes in for an interview.

“Looking at your resume, I can see that you’re more than qualified”, says the interviewer. “Unfortunately, we can’t have our sales reps constantly winking at customers, so we can’t hire you”, adds the interviewer.

“But wait”, says the man. “If I take two aspirin, I stop winking”.

“Then show me”, replies the interviewer.

So the guy reaches into his pants pocket and pulls out a pile of condoms in all different shapes, sizes, and colors before finally finding a packet of aspirin. He pops the pills and immediately stops winking.

“It’s great. You stopped winking”, says the interviewer, “but we can’t have our salesmen womanizing all over the country”.

“What do you mean?”, asks the man. “I’m happily married”.

“How do you explain all the condoms?” asks the interviewer.

“Oh, that”, sighs the man. “Have you ever walked into a pharmacy, winking, and asked for aspirin?”…

(Author Unknown)

Mailman ate him

Little Tommy walks in on his parents having sex, and asks his dad, “Dad, why are you on top of Mommy?” and the dad says, “Well Tommy, remember when you said you wanted a little brother? I’m putting the baby into Mommy!”

A couple of weeks later Tommy is crying, and his dad says, “Tommy, why are you crying?”, and Tommy says, “I’m not gonna have a little brother!”

The dad says, “But don’t you remember, you saw me putting the baby into Mommy?”, and Tommy says, “Yes, but yesterday morning, the mailman ate him!”

(Author Unknown)

Quickie

A young man was tucking his shirt in after a quickie in the back seat with a girl he’d recently met. He felt a little contrite and said to her, Gee, if I’d known you were a virgin, I would have taken more time. The girl: Really?? If I’d known you would have taken more time, I would have taken my panty hose off.

(Author Unknown)

Abusing trust

“Most women teaches their female friends to always be on guard throughout their nuptial ties so that they do become a victim of betrayal, if it ever does happen.
To me, that only means that you probably don’t know what love is about or ever truly loved your partner, with all the mistrust that is happening.
Now why do I say so?
Because love is after all blind!
And if you’re not one who is blinded, probably there’s never so much as a thing called “love” to begin with!
Be proud that you are blinded, because love is when two souls are bonded in holy matrimony and became one. And thus, you are required to perform your vows as a single entity by sharing and giving to one another. That is also the moment of truth when you realise that you are one person who is capable of giving fully your heart to love. That you trust the other person completely. That’s what love is about. And that’s what God wants, nevermind what others say.
And if you do not know how to love another fully and give your complete trust to your partner, but follow your friends advice and remain cautious, then, I’m sorry but you are better off single. So is your friend. Than to cheat your partner for a lifetime with that barricade of mistrust forever looming in the shadow of your union.
Yes, unfortunate things do happen in relationships if you do not follow your friends advice. But whatever it is, just regard it as your partner’s loss for abusing your trust and failing to see through your well-meaninged intentions and generosity by giving fully your love towards the relationship.”

All About Provenance

“Provenance establishes the history of ownership. Not authenticity. But a good provenance certainly supports authentication, removes all doubt towards the legitimacy of ownership, whilst eliminating disputes and claim towards the work once sold.

On the contrary, if an artwork is authentic, nothing can take away the genuineness even when no documents ever existed. Not even provenance. Genuine works of this nature just happens to hover on a different plane because of unexpected turn of events or otherwise beit relocation, war, death, spring cleaning, debt settlement, divorce, gifts, donations, even hunger, as they fall into the hands of cafe owners, descendants, friends, undeserving people, neighbours, strangers, cleaners, movers, antique shops, flea market, pawn shops or the worse case scenario, refuse bins! With no receipts, papers, or even a signature intact, should authentic works of this nature be appraised at a lower price?

Provenance is a Western invention. It is the trailing bloodline of every personal property since the day the object leaves the hand of its creator beit the artist, craftsmen or artisan till the present owner. With more claims of stolen items being sold at auctions at frivolous prices, provenance became a necessity deterrent from costly lawsuits, and a convenient tool to reject dubious consignments. Nowadays, it behaves as a stop valve to deter ‘blockage’. A term appraisers use when too many items of similar nature flock the market causing the value of a personal property once thought rare, but now ubiquitous, to fall. In instances like this, should provenance be abused to control the flow thus preventing blockage from happening?

But if provenance is vital, how could one Chinese ceramic found in a shoebox, and another, which was used as a door stopper, escape this stringent necessity? By pure reasoning, it is certainly doubtful that accidental possessions and unexpected finds like these do have papers to back them up. This includes the controversial possession of two zodiac animal busts that once grace the walls of the Forbidden City in China. Why, one wonders, that the Hague Conventions of 1899 and 1907 does not apply to consignments such as these, when war spoils should be repatriated accordingly?

Many reasons could be factored in but one seemingly good reason why reputed auction houses are prepared to take chances by breaking conventions is the quality exuded by an irresistible find. Hence, it goes without saying that no matter what, provenance no matter how muzzy it is, cannot take away the authenticity or genuineness of a property, more so when no report of theft was ever recorded, which begs the question: “How should one keeps track of cultural relics and papers and address the grey areas of provenance, when for example the Cultural Revolution of China 1966 displaces everything? Even real estate title deeds. Wouldn’t this imply that all Chinese relics are in-consignable? And if that being the case, wouldn’t the Western collector indirectly has more to benefit in the auction circuit than their Eastern counterparts?

Since early 2000 as auction records would have shown, the demand for Chinese cultural relics soared a million times over. The downside being so did their bad debts reach an unprecedented scale. The reason is because some Chinese sellers view provenance as double standard Western capitalism designed to subdue Chinese consignors. Hence their retaliation by not paying. This triggers a series of revamps implemented for would-be bidders never seen in auction rules before to curb the frequent fraudulent bid calls. But not long after, the Chinese Central Committee decided to set up their own auction houses, after some unsuccessful attempts to buyout some reputed auction platforms. Not one but a few.

Besides these concerns, there are scenarios of consignors owning the right papers, but sold duplicated artworks to unsuspecting buyers sometimes with the original papers, at times without~ the original work of which they still keep. There too are cases of genuine artworks without the necessary papers being mistakenly rejected as dubious. Incidents like this happens frequently at auction houses, especially those which lacks expertise. At the other end of the spectrum are consignors with underworld links whose lawless reputation exceeds the genuineness of their provenance. And there are also the uninformed collectors who seem to invest more in dubious artworks, that when their collection is assessed as a whole, cautious auction houses will shun away as quickly. Last but not least are cases where dubious artworks by famous artists and forgeries appears in open auctions, as favours to appease their high-powered buyers. Cases like this are not one-of-a-kind but ubiquitous. What is more beguiling is can dubious artworks possesses genuine provenance then escape close scrutiny? Think about it.

In most cases, properties that fetches record prices has an important personality or impeccable history of ownership attached to it. These personalities simply overshadow the long trail of provenance required. So much so that it has become the norm for auction houses of repute to turn away those which do not have. But does that mean that collections coming from important personalities or collectors are always genuine? The answer is a resounding no. Because every collector, no matter how experienced they are, is vulnerable to deception. More so when they lack knowledge in their field of interest, more frequently occurring in the early stages of collecting.

Many a time, good properties has been rejected by reputed auction houses because provenance could not be established. This is indeed sad for genuine collectors who turns their hobby into a lucrative investment that each time they spotted a valuable piece going for a song at the flea market, they need to request for formal papers. Wouldn’t that raise eyebrows when sometimes, the asking price is merely USD10? Moreover, what kind of provenance and lineage does one expect from a country which has only gained independence for slightly more than a decade? Or another that survives a Holocaust or a cultural revolution? A string of DNA’s or atoms to backtrace your fossil collection?

Imagine a genuine Picasso or a Pollock not previously known which has no provenance. Will the auction house reject it and regard it as fraud just because no evidence of its existence was ever recorded in the catalogue raisonnè nor the stolen objects databases? Or will they report it so that the possessor is arrested? Or would they set forth an ingenious marketing strategy to have it sold because of the high estimate it could fetch? It is well known that the latter does happen to some blue collar consignors who uses their lifetime savings to build their collection. That will again depends if their engagement is convincing enough that these auction houses would stick out their neck to help them.

The story about provenance is long and wide. With many twists and turns. To those who aren’t aware, perhaps this is the time to pay heed to the propensity of tracking down provenance. If possible, to backtrack it till it hits the date of origin of produce or manufacture. If they want to have it consigned in the future that is. But in their own way, auction houses protect their own integrity by screening and investigating each and every property they intend to accept. Because they understand that costly mistakes can seriously damage their reputation. Especially the provenance tied to these properties. Good auction houses also constantly refine their method and mode of working to ensure staff integrity to ward off malicious deals schemed by greedy collectors wanting to dispose off their doubtful loots.

Recently there were two cases of properties fetching ludicrously high prices, many times higher than the low estimate being sold online. One is of a Chinese Republican type vase of very poor condition, the other, a Song dynasty censer of doubtful attribution. How does this happen one wonders? Although money laundering seems to be the obvious reason, scammers of today are now getting more creative than ever before, scouting for loopholes in the terms and conditions of selling platforms to thrive, and if all auction houses carries with them disclaimers, then, so much the better for scammers to roll out vague deals, then disappear by the click of a button. Because of voluminous listings, most auction platforms have no control over fraudulent claims, auction estimates, and provenance especially – the hammer price of which still relies very much on the bidders discretion and direct engagement with the seller at the other end. Provenance? They disappeared into the backseat. Online auction platforms in general are commission agents. Not authenticators doing you a service. They provide you with an avenue to dispose your possessions. Nothing more. Nothing less.

Now the final question. Are there categories of properties that doesn’t require provenance? Yes there are. Maybe if one is tired of trailing provenance, they should perhaps collect something else that doesn’t require them. Think about it.

– Kris Lee 2014/2021.
Appraiser/Auctioneer/Collector of art, antiques and collectibles with more than 3 decades of

Cricket In Heaven

Two 90 year old men, Mike and Joe, have been friends all of their lives.

When it’s clear that Joe is dying, Mike visits him every day.

One day Mike says, “Joe, we both loved cricket all our lives, and we played cricket on Saturdays together for so many years. Please do me one favour, when you get to Heaven, somehow you must let me know if there’s bat and ball there and the game is played there!”

Joe looks up at Mike from his death bed,
“Mike, you’ve been my best friend for many years. If it’s at all possible, I’ll do this favour for you.”

Shortly after that, Joe passes on.

At midnight, a couple of nights later, Mike is awakened from a sound sleep by a blinding flash of white light and a voice calling out to him, “Mike–Mike!”

“Who is it?”
asks Mike sitting up suddenly. “Who is it?”

“Mike–it’s me, Joe!”

“You’re not Joe…. Joe just died!”

“I’m telling you, it’s me, Joe,” insists the voice.

“Joe! Where are you now?”

“In heaven”, replies Joe. “I have some really good news and a little bad news.”

“Tell me the good news first,” says Mike.

“The good news,” Joe says,” is that there’s bat and ball in heaven and they do play cricket! Better yet, all of our old friends who died before us are here, too. Better than that, we’re all young again. Better still, it’s always spring time and it never rains or snows. And best of all, we can play cricket all we want, and we never get tired.”

“That’s fantastic,” says Mike. “It’s beyond my wildest dreams! So what’s the bad news?”

“You’re in the team for this Saturday’s match !!!”

Failed Mathematics

“They cheered for the fishermen, yet none of these victory march protesters has ever stepped foot near that village and beach before, nor when the discussion was going on before the decision was made. Public engagement was open, but they prefer to wallow in their own forum and follow their leaders, gerakan stalwarts formed under the guise of ngos who thought they could cripple dap in the name of conservation, by stirring a non-issue when in reality, the family of these fishermen no longer finds a promising future basking under that windy tide.

As a Malay centered township, it would be shallow thinking to even suggest that these inhabitants weren’t engaged to help improve their living conditions, nor were they denied provisions to learn and earn et al. And it is indeed a tragedy that ngos would use their plight to justify their need to preserve that catchment. Besides, the current government did not deny them their right of earning, even when judging according to today’s standard, their occupation is no longer sustainable. But if they have decided to stay put in that catchment, but deny the progress that would benefit their village in the long term such as connectivity to the city, and added value to their property, that has far reaching consequences and an oversight.

It is sad but true, but many of their younger generations prefer to be grab drivers instead. And no wedding planners has ever considered that part of the island to be an ideal shooting location. The access since sixty years ago was long and winding no thanks to the bn government who did nothing to improve their livelihood except blurting our empty promises. Thus their current state of affairs. And btw, do any of these protesters at the last count knew exactly how many of these fishermen are still making a living combing the sea? 200? No. It’s hardly 10 percent. Their catch hardly feeds the inhabitants of their own village. One can trust their so-called ngos to keep the statistics tucked under their arms. And then blame their dwindling catch to the circumstances plaguing the sea, when the truth is, none of them wanted to be a fishermen anymore than you do. On a lighter note, why be a fishermen when all the politicians drives a Vellfires?

The ngos may cry victory of sweetness, then beat their behind and leave that place under the care of father sun, whilst these fishermen’s scorch their skins and suffer, so they could all have their little cheap thrills once in awhile penetrating the area with camera crews in the name of conservation.

And the biggest loser? The villagers not forgetting the people of Penang. Because if their standard of living did not change years down the road whilst yours is way ahead in terms of invincibility, remember this day which says so much of your careless character and selfish motives. Besides, there is not enough heightened activity and inhabitants to justify the need to build the costly link. In all goodness, the current government is trying to help them unlock the full potential of their village besides uplifting their standard of living. And if anyone would suggest that this is a political ploy, think about the humongous budget that one needs to raise when really, they could unlock it elsewhere with lesser budget.

And so what we have here are political parties cloaking as ngos and Malay supremacists back saddling the ngos questioning the sincerity of a dap led government. That’s what it is. Using marine life and it’s survival as excuse. So much for Merdeka and what it means.”

Government Tango

“I would love that we could all tango from stages 1 to 2 or stages 2 to 4 but not during a time when the statistics deteriorate so badly 20 months into lockdown. And children’s are now rushed to school by October just because their first 100 days grand plan say so. Whatever that can be done then to prioritise children so that they do not need to waste two years of the lives idling has fallen onto deaf ears because our ministers thought their lives are far more important than these vulnerable children’s. Therefore they were all and I mean in totality, 70 ministers who received their two jabs first even before the frontliners does but claims to put our interests above theirs. And so is the idea of a strict lockdowns for 2 months being overruled by economic concerns of their cronies. And with the delta variant now running haywire in the streets, suddenly they decided to allow cinemas and hotels to operate. Fine. I have no problem with that for a long as the patrons and operators have all completed their jabs, but so must all the other types of business be allowed to operate and patronise only by those who have completed their jabs! The situation we have right now is that businesses in enclosed areas are allowed to open but banks still restrict users and gyms are not allowed. How different are they? And those foreign workers whom have not completed their vaccinations are roaming everywhere preparing and delivering food.

And why the restrictions on interstate travelling when you are so prepared to reinfect people from the same state by opening up touristy businesses? You mean your daily statistics as reported doesn’t add up our country as a whole, and that state borders are still manned by personnel’s to check on permits for parents visiting families or children that they are all required to reinfect themselves standing in line at police stations to seek permits?

To cut it short, our ministers all seem to suffer from post mental siege not helped by the lurking virus they thought it fine to legalise corruption side by side by pardoning corrupters and blaming individuals on the streets who committed suicide on drug taking. What? I am sorry but why don’t they ask themselves where these poor people find spare cash to purchase drugs when they don’t even have enough to buy food therefore they decided to dive down buildings while many others raised white flags that you clearly bar, and why is the drug problem persistently menacing after 6 decades of nation building? No will to correct the system?

Money and the thought of getting rich is the root of all evil and the mother of how corruption came about made worse by a government who succumbed. They seem to think it ok to drive into the minds of our children to follow in their footsteps while ironically making compulsory religious and moral studies in schools. And for as long as they are not the ones who eat sour bread or instant noodles, they are fine.

Well, the whole country is not fine when the biggest crooks in the history of mankind has direct access to the prime ministers office and government investiture ceremonies insisting they be made national economic recovery advisers. And it is certain not fine when the government changes and ran independently, indignant to the wishes of the rakyat. And it is not fine to admit defeat to a virus we could jolly well contain right from the beginning if not for the power tussle and billions spent to achieve herd immunity. These defeatist attitudes are certainly not welcoming nor are they putting our country at the forefront of disease control. What sort of messages are they prepared to send 100 days later? That corruption is also fine and it is here to stay?

Go F off!”

Cabinetmakers Terms

“Some of us may have noticed that governments of the day seems to have an obsession, preference and attachment towards cabinetmakers terms, when describing Parliamentary placings and positions of these elected members who ran our country.

Words like ‘chairs’, as in chairman (now chairperson), ‘seats’, as in the seats of Parliament, ‘bench’, as in back-benchers, ‘Secretary’~ (which comes from the french word Secrétaire meaning a form of enclosed writing desk), as administrative arm of the different portfolios, a ‘secretariat’ which is a permanent administrative office of a department, and lastly, ‘cabinet’, as in the committee of senior ministers responsible for controlling government policy.

This is so because until the medieval era, castles are devoid of furniture and thus it was the usual formality to greet and be greeted, and to grant audiences and discussions standing.

When chairs made their appearance in the 18th century, they were a luxury. They weren’t mass produced like today and thus, not everyone could afford the comforts made by the ébéniste and menuisiers, the two components of cabinet making which decides the shapes, designs and functions of these furnitures. These cabinet makers were very much celebrities and respected people of the courts. And thus, especially chairs, they are reserved only for those in power, and the people who could afford to commission them. And orders were usually piled up to the brim and may take years to have them delivered.

Therefore to be offered a seat, means you are a deserving privileged, someone worthy of respect.
Hence this obsession carried on, with these terms handed down through generations of those who were vying for these seats of power. And above this are the ‘Rulers’- the instrument used for sizing and measuring furnitures.

Vote of Confidence after appointment?

“Our YDPA has already officially appointed our PM and endorsed the cabinet of our PMs choice. So why do YDPA still insist on a vote a confidence in Parliament for when he has already chosen who he wanted?

If YDPA is concern about protocol, then YDPA should by right heed our constitution, or take the trouble to read it, and let the MPs determine the PM in Parliament, which till the last minute, was but a speculation? Why is YDPA acting on hearsay?

There were lots of claims then, but no one indeed knows the actual score. Thus our YDPA should allow Parliament to take its course, which is the rightful way. Not by statutory declaration that till today no one gets to view them!

And did YDPA verify if it was provided in the constitution of these coalitions, that they are allowed to tie the knot with any party they want, at anytime they choose to, even at the last minute just to make numbers? In the first place, are these MPs acting in a preposition the rakyat is comfortable with? And that each of them are not contravening their sworn oath as expressed in the sixth schedule? Because if they are, why didn’t Parliament plug this loophole long ago? Why allow loopholes to exist still? And why allow and validate a last minute coalition?

Well, it is ironical our YDPA doesn’t know all this. After all he is the all knowing and all wise. And even more ironical is that YDPA wasn’t correctly advised. It is treason for telling lies or misleading the Agong.

Perhaps a better question to ask would be, what was YDPA’s reason for putting the cart before the horse and allow the situations to reverse? And then conveniently seek the endorsement from Parliament?

Because by right, in the constitution, the Agong is the endorser. Not the MPs.”

Fark the MM2H Policy

“Fark the MM2H policy. Fark Rais Yatim. Let them all go home. What can we expect from senior citizens residing in our country? Contribute to our economy? Fark you No. Contribute to more immaculate conception yes! You think they flood your ckt stalls more than bars? And taking advantage of our laws to benefit them? Why should they be given privileges we as citizens were deprived of- like tax free cars and contribute to the increase in prices of household goods especially houses we as citizens can’t even afford in our lifetime.
Why should we pamper our rouge developers who builds houses with them in mind? Then leave as and when they want by just beating their backside? Maybe Rais Yatim has a use for all the women he brought in. Other than that, just tell him to shaft the law up his arse. They are Lopsided laws and should be corrected!
Don’t worry about housing prices. Malaysians are greedy. Prices will autocorrect soon enough! And 30k worth of properties is really nothing.”

Bad Fengshui

Do you know what’s wrong with Anwar Ibrahim’s logo? It’s bad for fengshui.
Look carefully.
It’s a stylised image of a headless man with hands holding onto his backside.
Without a head, can he ever be a prime minister? Leaders uses their heads to think. Here, he is without a head.
That is point number 1.
Point number 2, why must a leader’s hand be touching his own backside meaning shit or fart? Should he continually be touching shit? Or in another light, can a man carry himself? No. No man can ever carry himself.
Point number 3, a leader must be seen standing. On this logo, he is sitting, not the posture of a leader.
Point number 4, he is sitting but facing left, rather than right. A leader must always be seen to be right therefore he must face the right. Not left.
Point number 5, the white arrow that resembles the hands of a man holding his backside is actually designed in the shape of a thunderbolt striking him.
It is also in the shape of the smoke from an airplane which is struck and dives down. Whichever way you look at it, he is dead. Whether through the thunderbolt zapping him, or the dived down plane.
Point number 6, the four black and white triangles as seen from the logo represents death. And four signifies death. Beit pointing up, pointing down or pointing right as seen. As for the colours of the triangle, black represent dark or night, and white represents light or day. That means he won’t achieve his goal, beit night or day.
That is why in Chinese mysticism and fengshui, Anwar Ibrahim will never ever be a prime minister, if he continues using this logo.
It’s a nicely designed logo no doubt. But bad for his fengshui. Very very bad in fact.
Take that away from him.
No offence to the logo designer.
Kris Lee 2021.
#AnwarIbrahim #Anwar #datoserianwar #datoserianwaribrahim

Now Mask, Later Helmet

“Now mask. Later helmet. Then, full body suit. The whole world is held hostage to feed the virus and vaccine innovators and producers. Just when we try to overcome one strain, they release newer strains, so that we would be consistently fed fear and crippled. That’s how they corner the world market, at the same time, crippling their enemies economy by spreading hate statements and supporting terrorism. By right, they should be tried for genocide.
It’s a biological warfare going on out there, all because someone tries to regain a grip on the world’s economy. When they have nothing left which is good to sell.”

Hannah Potter

“No Hannah, childrens issues goes into the unity and social development ministry. If not, park them with the education ministry. No separate children’s ministry for me sorry. If you feel childrens welfare are slighted, then named it the unity, children and social development ministry. Before that could happen, that thought of yours that women are better in handling children has to stop. Many men are good with children too, and the priority here is to appoint a capable minister whatever their sex may be who can look into the issues pertaining children unless if it is Harry Potter, and not Hannah potter in charge.”

Cows Come Home

“Some people can whine till the cows come home when things didn’t turn out to be what they expect it to be, but has no sense of social responsibility. They pushed their concerns to others, and thought it is others duty to take care of the world, whilst they happily takes care of themselves. Don’t they know that it’s people like them who chooses not to do anything whilst they can which is why, how and where we are in the state we are in today?

Counting the days when they are younger and more capable then, they have conveniently forgotten to stand up for our rights when they should by right fight, so that we can at least appreciate them for trying their best to fix the wrong, and doing something right for our sake.

Instead, I see them now trying to lecture us on their brand of living, telling us to give up the fight, that it is a lost cause. It is people like lky, who held on to his belief, breathing down tunku’s neck and tell him we are on the wrong direction before he was sacked, who deserves the salutation. It was him with David marshall alongside others who helped us gain Malaya’s independence. It is people like them whom after a century or so, who could tilt their gaze high and said they have tried, and did not become someone else’s useless forefather. Unlike those whom when they had the chance to speak, to help, to contribute, to stand up and be counted, and has the strength and civic morality to make it good again, did not, and chose not to sacrifice nor volunteer, nor being a part of, but went about chasing their own dream, oblivion to the state we are in.

So it’s not about what they know that we don’t know. In fact we know better than them who sits and watch the world go by and complain when others suck dry our country. And complain yet again when their salary is high. It is about what they did not do, that now, we are trying to deal with, to get it done. If I may be so unkind, since they can’t help, tell them to stop circulating their ‘I told you so’ hypothesis and wrap up their fearful tendencies within the comforts of their blanket. Sleep with it. Sweep it under their carpet of should do’s but did not. And hide their perpetually selfishness.

Stop listening to people like this. If I may I regard people like this as useless variants of society. More deadly than Covid-19.”

No Unity Government

“No Ambiga, no unity government for me sorry. A government does not get anymore dangerous than one without an opposition sorry.

Our judiciary, national security, education and health departments, these are bodies that should be independent. Why aren’t they? So is our MACC. What we have now here are ministers so powerful, they could walk freely anywhere and do whatever they want by the wave of their name tags. Without the opposition, they’ll collate to break our bank. I’m serious. Like what happen during our last emergency. So, you must be kidding me by putting in a petition for change.

What you see in the US, UK, Korea, elsewhere in the world, is also not called a unity government. So is Singapore. There must always be a split in-between~ a fact checker who calls themselves the opposition, the backbencher, you name it.
In the US, they call themselves the democrats and the republicans. In the UK, the liberals and the conservatives. In the Middle East, the fundamental and the liberal Muslims. It’s still the ruling government and opposition in Singapore. No difference from ours.
When elections come by, the citizens is still forced to choose between either one.

What we need is not a unity government, but a serious law review, and a lifespan for every bill if you consider the latest spat involving the election of our Pm intolerable.

It’s a childish proposal. Not like I want to complain .”

Unholy Nuptial

“It’s an unholy matrimony, if a nuptial is formed between ph and pn. Especially if ph were to start accepting cabinet positions. Because once tied, it becomes shared responsibility, with both sides bearing the blame if things go terribly wrong. Like dismissing court charges for example?
I consider it utterly impossible, yet brilliant, if the power hungry mob squad of umno through their supreme council, makes space for the opposition to helm senior positions. Because if they do, that’ll make ph an accessory to every evil plot of theirs which ph can’t publicly reject, for fear of offending the will of our Agong. It will definitely be evil because it’s now or never , since it is only for these two years or so that umno holds onto power, before ge15 knocks on the door.
If their offer to ph is only in the national recovery plan for Covid, let it be known that it shouldn’t at any time, be set up under the purview of one particular ministry. It should be isolated~ a special ministry with direct access to pm and funds. Otherwise no deal.
Everyone knows that this would be the final lap for umno ever, if the kleptocrats were to be dismissed from court charges, and everyone knows too that if Sabri doesn’t oblige them, it defeats the power grabbing circus moo just succumbed to. And if Sabri were to appease these kleptocrats knowing the retribution is going to be bad, they might as well bankrupt the whole nation because the chance will never come again.
And that seems very possible.”

Latest Script

“Moo is ready to take back the government right after our kleptocrats full scale assault on the pending court cases before ge15, consequentially resulting in the collapse of umno and possibly bankrupting our federal reserve’s since it is umno’s final lap on power. Told bersatu leaders to refrain from accepting positions inside umno’s cabinet if offered, so that bersatu’s image wouldn’t be harmed. His request was arguably opposed by Azmin and Hamzah who thought otherwise.
My questions are:
1) How sure is moo, right after a failed stint as leader of bersatu, be able to revive his own reputation as a delusional leader of a band of frogs?
2) And will Sabri still adhere to moo’s conditional support over his own party’s, one of which is to resist the kleptocrats hold on him?
3) How does this latest script fit into part of the Sheraton move’s ‘Sandiwara’ when it clearly ends with the kleptocrats untying the knots off their own court cases not unless moo reluctantly gave up his power?”

Do Not Advocate Fear

“Under Article 63 part 5, Privileges of Parliament, of our Federal Constitution, no person shall be liable to any proceedings in court in respect of anything said by him of the Yang di-Pertuan Agong, when taking part in any proceedings of either House of Parliament or any committee thereof, except where he advocates the abolition of the constitutional position of the Yang di-Pertuan Agong as the Supreme Head of the Federation or the constitutional position of of the Ruler of a State, as the case may be.
What that means is the opposition can question and challenge the conduct and procedures of the entire election process of our pm if need be, with guaranteed immunity. (Same as the privileges in the State Legislative Assembly about their respective rulers under Article 72 part 5)
So please do not advocate fear.”

3 Royal Houses

“The 3 royal houses were very concern about the entire voting process which should begin with the MPs inside Parliament and ends with the Agong’s rubber stamp, therefore they abstain. They were startled when a simple voting process was reversed, no thanks to the ill-advice from both Haron brothers, which they knew was an intended blunder to gag the nation. They also knew it was the kleptocrats that puppeted all this, preferring a backdoor return, than to face the rakyat in a showdown through GE which they know, they will surely lose. And thus, these few royals washes off their hands, to put it on record, that they wanted no hands in the appointment of Sabri. Can you blame them?
Anyway, three out of nine does not stunt the quorum. They needed seven.”

If There Is Sex After Death

A couple made a deal that whoever died first would come back and inform the other if there is sex after death. Their biggest fear was that there was no after life at all. After a long life together, the husband was the first to die.
True to his word, he made the first contact: ” Barb….Barb”
“Is that you, Eddie?”
“Yes, I’ve come back like we agreed.”
“That’s wonderful! What’s it like?”
“Well, I get up in the morning, I have sex. I have breakfast and then it’s off to the golf course.
I have sex again, bathe in the warm sun and then have sex a couple of more times.
Then I have lunch (you’d be proud – lots of greens). Another romp around the golf course, then pretty much have sex the rest of the afternoon. After supper, it’s back to golf course again.
Then it’s more sex until late at night. I catch some much needed sleep and then the next day it starts all over again”
“Oh, Eddie are you in Heaven?”
“No………..I’m a rabbit in Arizona.

(Author Unknown)

Anwars Career

“Anwar’s political career came about not through Tun M.

I need to jerk up Tun’s memory.

Anwar was Umno youth chief then. Young, charismatic, eloquent. His grassroots was huge and they decided to ask him to try for Umno’s top position. Anwar didn’t. Anwar took his chances by challenging Ghafar Baba instead. Then, the school teacher deputy prime minister. Tun M loved Ghafar Baba because Ghafar Baba is loyal and echoes him. Tun M tried to stop Anwar from challenging Ghafar, because Tun thought Anwar dangerous and he was no pushover, and cannot be controlled. Moreover, Anwar had a large following. Anwar thought he can’t disappoint his grassroots. Tun M then, was scared of being unseated by this ambitious young man. Elections came and went, and quite unexpectedly, Anwar won over Ghafar Baba.

Tun M didn’t like it.

But by virtue of Anwar’s position as Umno deputy, Anwar was elevated to be the deputy prime minister. Because it was the tradition then.
Thus Tun M got no choice but to reluctantly elevate him.

Not like Anwar begged for it. He worked hard for it.

And the rest is history.”

Not Within His Ambit

“Our Agong’s primary duty is to endorse a candidate that has received the majority of votes in Parliament, to be our pm. The pm then chooses his own deputy as well as names his entire cabinet, again with the Agong’s endorsement. That’s all.
With due respect, It is not within the ambit of our Agong to dictate who our pm should be and how the choosing should be conducted. He acts on advice. And Parliament has its own set of rules.
For unity reasons, voting must be seen to be swift, open, and orderly. At all cost must we avoid factions, dissent, and suspicion from happening. That is the reason why MPs must congregate, vote, and make known the results straightaway in Parliament. With due respect, as it is, the Agong has been seen minding and fiddling, and the process now somehow reverses. Was he ill advised?
With the agong affirming the voting through sds, then again, interviewing the MPs who voted with the sds, before Parliament convenes, and again observing if the MPs still endorses the candidate they have chosen in their sd? What then is the basis and function of the statutory declaration (sd)?
If the Agong is not careful, he would be seen to be taking sides, if that pm chosen is not in tune to conventional wisdom which is exactly how certain factions crafted it in this manner, to gag the rakyat. And that, with due respect, dent wisdom.
When can, if we are allowed one request, can the rakyat and MPs get to view each and every sd, to verify its authenticity?”

Gabungan

“Federal Constitution clearly stipulate that we must choose a candidate from a party which commands the majority of support in Parliament. That means it is dap. All this last minute gabungan carries no weight if these gabungan are not a registered political entity with the registrar of society, and even if they are, they could only be party specific registration, meaning only from those which originally form and tie themselves to the gabungan, the new ones not included, not unless their respective coalition constitution allows.
With due respect to YDPA, nothing in our law allows for an experimental unity government. That proposal itself is not in line with our federal constitution. And a government without opposition is most dangerous.”

Statutory Declaration

“If each MP is required to submit their own statutory declaration (sd) in secret, how would their own political party or affiliation know and confidently declare it was a unanimous decision? If it is unanimous, the sworn oath under sixth schedule of our federal constitution is already infringed. Moreover, the royal house has gagged announcements from each political party until the results is announced by our agong. (Clause 8 Agong’s letter) . Why is umno and pas giving reporters a field report of the outcome of their submission? Was it a collective submission? Also, why is former pm moo ‘ordering’ his 31 MPs to fully support Sabri? If they are, shouldn’t their sd’s be disqualified as well?”