Revamp Our Laws

Far beyond the controversies we are facing, it is now clear to us that our law is outdated and no longer works. There are too many loopholes therefore the Parliament impasse and frequent spat, and if you are a seasoned politician, you will know how to play to the audience. But how are we to get the laws updated if every single bill needs the endorsement of two thirds of majority of Parliamentary votes when there is no one political party, nor even a coalition, that commands two thirds of majority in the house?
If no government thought it serious enough to review these laws, with or without a two thirds majority, then, let’s just be contented and continue to live with a failed government for the rest of our lives no matter who or whichever party takes control. For these laws shall remain unshackled, courtesy of complacent bodies and a system that failed. Are we then to succumb ourselves to ride in a car that forever jerks? How long then can we reach First World status when others are already way ahead of us considering the constant mockery and heated debates we see in Parliament? Breaking house rules in Parliament also seems to be the norm now than making good progress.
It is now no longer an option for us to sweep this glaring problem under the carpet. It is obvious our laws needed reviewing and regular updates, as frequently as the apps living inside our mobile phones. Because when laws are stunted lest two thirds of 220 Parliament votes are achieved to pass a bill, then, our laws are as good as dead.
It is amusing we are still guided by the many laws which are of bullock cart age, many that was written by the Crown, as well as the minuscule fines, compounds, and punishments meted out in the Penal Code. Then there is the Election Laws that causes way too much discomfort alongside biased laws that protects certain people, certain quarters, and certain tribe. Properties were illegally acquired through the abuse of the Land Acquisition Act. How about those that gave blanketing powers to menteri besars and chief ministers to overrule decisions not forgetting laws that empower an individual absolute authority?
It is timely that a new mechanism be set up to address and revise laws that has outlived its usefulness. That would also involve stashing away great grandfather procedures. Let’s face it. If the older ways work, today we wouldn’t be experiencing constitutional crisis. True?Thus, we need a complete total revamp.
As a guide, lawmakers when churning out new laws needs to be aware that first and foremost:
1) an effective period whereby such laws (must) be updated or desensitised every five years is necessary and must be established, beit at State or Federal level.
2) the simplifying of standard operating procedures for the amendment of such outdated laws.
The lawmakers should comprise a larger spectrum of the rakyat to make it inclusive. With this, a special body headed by the bar council which includes but not limited to a representative each from bodies of each profession, ngos, political parties, not excluding the independents whose primary focus is to identify, review, debate and make good weak laws arising from daily news and controversies.
3) Such amendments would then be passed and endorsed by the Agong before being presented to the members of the house for briefing.
4) Power to debate or endorse laws should no longer rest in the ambit of MPs. We are relieving them from these duties because partisan politics is already the norm. Therefore, MPs are no longer independent in thought or actions or risk being chastised. This is not what we want.
Without such revamps in the law, procedure and structure, our country can no longer remain competitive. Worse, our country may never move forward, and our contemporary mindset will forever be hindered by backward laws, which is also the reason why religion today still talks about stars and moving mountains. We need to address the unnecessary tabling of the Emergency Act which only harbours conspiracy theories because of the unlimited powers it holds. Once used as a resistance against terrorism, it is now being exploited for personal gains and private agendas.
If our Federal budget can be reviewed yearly to suit the issues of the moment, so must laws.
My two cents.”
-Kris Lee 2021.

Non Showing PM

“The non-showing of our pm in Parliament and the inconsensual revocation of emergency without the knowledge of the house is a serious offence tantamount to making a mockery out of our federal constitution. The pm’s questionable behaviour is technical incompetence and non—pardonable. Thus the speaker, with the power vested in him, should have exercised his power to have the pm suspended by reasons of technically disqualification and have the parliament suspended to make way for a new caretaker pm by way of whoever commands the confidence of the majority in Parliament and assented by the Agong.
That way, the Dewan speaker will also regain his integrity back, the house put to order, and the confidence of the rakyat redeemed. And when the new government is formed , I can almost guarantee the Dewan speaker will get his job back.
On the same note, we should also vote out parliamentarians whom not only exploit the loopholes found in our laws to their advantage, but also flout rules.”

I Rather They Suffer Than We Suffer

“If one keeps on neglecting creativity, but works in a context of acceptability, as according to that school of thought which taught them, then we unconsciously stunt our inner easternmost expressions by paying homage to western literal and artistic ideas, subconsciously elevating them to iconic towkay status making them relevant, but in turn, reduces our own chances of making our way to the top.
Schools of music till today still stresses on Brahm and Bach. Schools of writing still pays homage to Shakespeare and Wilde, not Tagore or Han Suyin. Schools of visual art history conveniently branded us as offshoots of abstract expressionism. We have been suppressed for the longest of time, if not, being denied our own language and identity. And until we assert our own brand, we can’t flourish as unique individuals. With this, our arts and literal history should thus be rewritten and pushed further back to the time where our ancestors began it all. To say that our arts began during the Islamic age is an unforced error. There are many other dynasties that we should reckon with that even the aborigines should not be discounted. They are the unique individuals that did not begin their existence feeding off western classicals as we have always been, and that’s the reason why we are conveniently placed into neat identifiable parcels ready for the slaughterhouse and many a time, being labeled as ‘aliens’. If I may say, that was our own doing.
Western ideas propound that without education, one would fail. That is untrue. Because we have seen that with great acumen, being led by the teachings and philosophy of wise men from the east, many uneducated local rich has proven them wrong. That without the infiltration of western ideals, imperialistic China has thrived way longer than many from the West.
The westerners also has an uncanny habit to device all sorts of courses and tailor them to suit their own ideals whilst we in turn, enrolled ourselves into their classes, many a time earning a degree studying about our own culture, tradition and way of life through them. Should this continue?
The profoundness of a language is also not important as our forefathers has time and again, proven. Living with different ethnicities, we never have trouble understanding each other, or getting our messages across, despite the littlest we know about someone else’s language.
If I may repeat, we need that paradigm shift. Of thought and execution. Classical eastern writings, performances, and visual expressionism should in the future, not be assessed by western standards and principles, or risk being lumped into pattern moulds set for us, and be forever regarded as an off—track or an off—shoot of the western system. How close are we to the Africans if I may ask, that when one studies Asian, we are conveniently lumped alongside theirs?
Thus, to get rid of being stereotyped, we, including the academicians, should all rise to the occasion and be ourselves. We should write as how we write according to how our natural senses evoke us, and be as distinct as how our ancestors are, listening to our own folktales, swaying to the rhythm of our own wayang, and paint with the scurried soul of an easterner.
Our works should overwhelm them with just that tinge of ourselves, and we should all by now, live as how we are, being accorded a rightful place on the map of the world since time immemorial.
What I just lamented may sound discomforting to the westerners, but I rather they suffer than we suffer, the earful.”

You Will Walk Today

I went to a Inter-Religion Integration Seminar.

The Bishop came, laid his hands on my hand and said, “By the will of Jesus Christ, you will walk today!”

I smiled and told him I was not paralysed.

The Rabbi came, laid his hands on my hand and said, “By the will of God Almighty, you will walk today!

I was less amused when I told him there was nothing wrong with me.

The Mullah came, took my hands and said, “Insha Allah, you will walk today!”

I snapped at him, “There’s nothing wrong with me”

The Hindu sadhu came and said “Beta, you will walk on your legs today.”

I said “Babaji – nothing wrong with my legs”

The Buddhist Monk came, held my hands and said, “By the will of The Great Buddha, you will walk today!”

I rudely told him there was nothing wrong with me.

After the Seminar, I stepped outside and found my car had been stolen.

I believe in all religions now.

Second Best

Malaysian are very tolerant and forgiving. Not like they are not good virtues. But it is because of this attitude that we have to always, conveniently settle for the second best. And live with it. Though the thorn sticks out from under our mattress and causing us much distress and discomfort.
It is not only about badminton that we have extended this attitude. It is also about our government, our system, and the slip—shot finishes we get from our renovation contractors. We even compromise our own education system preferring to issue harmful racial quotas, than to give it to the deserving. So, what are all these reassurances about when nothing good comes out of it?
Words of encouragement can be crude, or it can be comforting. But when words gets too cuddly, the players will continue to bask themselves with self consolation and always think that they are right. But are they?
Why are we forever hoping that the second best can become the best by slow nurture and words of comfort? We habitually reassure each other that we are fine, thinking that would be helpful, but pay for our mistakes continuing to believe in the reasons our mechanic gave us when our car had broken down thrice because he is really not competent enough to fix our car. Yet we let our ‘take-it-easy chin chai’ attitude compromises our expectations that it has become affixed into our culture, glaring enough especially amongst the Chinese community. Why don’t we make more effort to pick the best then chuck the rest? But rather, hung on as usual to bygone players? Why can’t we inculcate succession plans in every sport not only one? And what happened to Shalin Zulkifli when we comforted her with a datukship title ? Why didn’t we hang on to Nurul Huda Abdullah? We have formidable world class football players in the 70s. What happened to the likes of Chow Chee Keong, Santokh Singh and Mokhtar Dahari?
Why aren’t our former national players be tasked for national service to nurture the younger ones full time like what the Chinese and Indonesians does? Overbudget? No. I thought perhaps just like politics, we are all too caught up with glorifying one race, than to breed patriotism through sports. The same way we did to education and the rest.
It’s our sickness that fan pages are swarming with more words of encouragement than punishing them for their underperformance. As three time Olympians, can I also assume that their losing is deliberate since many of you can assume that they have tried their best?
In the words of Datuk Lee Chong Wei :—
‘Every sportsmen suffers from injury at one time or another. But the most important thing is not to carry this to your opponent’s knowledge and do your best to hide it and also not to aggravate the injury.’
Well said.
Thus, to me, if they really feel they are not up to it, why put their own self at risk? So as to tarnish their own good record and risk the confidence of their sponsors? That is being childish. And why aren’t yearly allocations in sports covers the players and athletes well being? Instead of finding them searching for personal sponsors, and the need to break off from national hold? As usual, it’s about race isn’t it?
To the players, think hard and discern even harder.
The name of the game is to attack in the first game and widen the gap. Then put pressure on your opponent by maintaining that winning gap. When it comes to the second game, it is time to attack and end it. You have a better chance winning by attacking than to play a defensive game in the second. And finish the opponents off in a straight game. But if by chance your luck is not so good , you still have the rubber. Get it? This is so simple, yet both of you are playing three consecutive games losing six conservative sets with the same kind of tactics? No wonder lah. If you could call that a mistake, I can also regard it as immaturity. If not, I am so surprised considering an Olympian both of you are, that you only have one tactic up your sleeves throughout three qualifying heats. What a load of nonsense!
Well, both of you can continue to drown in the sweetness of your loyal fans, if that is the purpose you keep your fans for. If you ask me, I’m afraid you are catching the wrong end of the stick. The number of likes does not translate to support. Most of the time, they are but obligatory, and swarm with opportunists. The rest are sex maniacs trying to seek attention by being tolerating. And if you think my advice is kind enough, it is high time you learn how to distinguish between numbers that work and numbers that gives you a sense of false hope.
Otherwise, do consider retiring.
Mistakes and experiments are for off—court training purposes. But when you are on court, mistakes and experiments are no longer tolerable, especially in the Olympics , because at the end of the day, the end result doesn’t need explanation. You don’t need to give reasons why you lose. It shows in the result. That’s all there is.
And do not console yourself that you have lost to a better pair. They are all underperforming pairs to reckon a fight if you ask me. And both of you are expected to sail through. But both of you underplayed and your fitness level as athletes are questionable. Not like you weren’t given sufficient time to realise the game’s schedule. If you need to train, you could have appealed to our Olympic committee to be given a chance to prepare despite the lockdown. If our government cannot understand this, then down with the government as well.
But if you guys still wanted to be counted as a formidable pair and repair the dent on your record, overhaul your attitude, recharge your physique, train your mind, and start focusing on constructive criticism to win.
But to me, as a three time Olympian, to make mistakes like this, I think it’s better you both make way for younger players.”

Crab Stance

Our Malaysian Olympics committee must be kidding me that she is fielded as a competitor. Looking at her serve with both legs closed, standing in salutation, she is unprepared for even the smallest battle. From the way she moves, she is unfit for a prestigious game like the Olympics, dodging every shuttle after each serve, expecting her passive partner to run all over the court trying to retrieve every shot while she stood there with her now infamous left right ‘crab stance’, only waiting for the shuttle to come straight to her face before she lifts her racket. Even then, for most times, she still dodge. But one shuttle did, actually landed on her cheeks which saw her scrambling down onto the tarmac, hurting her knee. I thought that would wake her up, but it came a little too late, in the second game.
Which begs the question. Doesn’t their coach including both of them were taught to realise that the Olympics is the most prestigious event in sports history surpassing the All-England and the Thomas Cup? So, what sort of coach were they assigned with, who obviously can’t read the opponents game well, deploying the same tactical strategy in two consecutive games? It’s no wonder they fail. As a partner too, that guy shouldn’t just take it all in, without voicing his displeasure when he should.
Anyway, it’s game over for both of them. It is time for some reflection, if they still want to win it. As for the Olympics, it’s a little too late, considering their age.
From my personal viewpoint, that guy still have hope, if paired with a more agile, level-headed partner who is willing to work hard. But he shouldn’t be so passive. The other player, I am afraid should be shown the door unless she learn how to be a better partner. For now, I still can’t figure out for what good her mascara does to her game.
My two cents.”

Order of Vaccine

“To me I would have rearranged the order of vaccine dispensing.
I would have divided the entire nation into :—
1) toddlers and infants below 6yrs of age,
2) primary school children below 12 including teachers,
3) secondary school students below 18 and teachers,
4) preuniversity and university going young adults below 28 and their lecturers,
5) working adults and foreign workers below 60 yrs of age except those which fall under category 8.
6) retirees and senior citizens 60 and above
7) illegal immigrants
8. public healthcare, transportation, essential & food services restricted to front line employees only
9) all members of Parliament
I would Hv dispensed the vaccines in this order :—
8, 2, 3, 4, 6, 1, 5, 9 then 7.
And announced this daily through all channels available so that the public knows.
Sadly this is not the case here.”

Rose, I Will Never Forget You

Last weekend, my daughter and I were checking out a house she was interested in buying. When the owner came to the door, she looked at me and said, “Roger? I know you. We were good friends when we were young. I’m Rose. Don’t you recognise me?”
I drew a complete blank.
She showed me an old black and white framed picture of her when she was a teenager — still nothing.
She then went in her room, took out a shoe box full of old trinkets, flipped through them, took out an old faded b&w photo and handed it to me. At the bottom of my photo I had written, “Rose, I will never forget you.”

(Author Unknown)

Dear Health Minister

Dear Health Minister,
Your SOP no longer allows video or picture taking. So how are complaints of syringes inserted but not injected handled by you when asked for proof or do you solely rely on the complainants words against the accused?
Can you be more concise who deserves the antibody test and are they FREE ?
And how does it affect the test results if only one dose between the two is not properly injected onto the person tested?
As it is right now, syringes were seen left inside the tray with the vials pre-extracted and nozzles protected. We understand the meticulousness of operations when there are too many people lining up waiting for their turns therefore your factory mode of operation. But how are we to know that those pre-prepared syringes and the vaccines inside are genuine? Were the staff nurses monitored drawing the vaccines from the vial into the syringes? And even if they do largely come straight from the bottles, how are we as recipients differentiate if the vials not discounting the bottles are certified genuine and that it came direct from the manufacturer?
How are we to know that the syringes are not re-used since we are escorted out immediately after the injection?
Did your health ministry, the immunisation ministry or even the information ministry ever consider educating the public what to look out for considering the numerous complaints received?
Ain’t it timely that the layman at large be informed through the main media or social media platforms the vaccination processes, to avoid unnecessary hostility happening between your staff nurses on duty and the public at large?
Or do your SOPs all vary from district to district and state to state?
No one is accusing you of wrongdoing but misinformation breeds mistrust. It is Good if you could clarify. Put billboards inside vaccine centres and a one minute video on main tv slotted in between the news channel is encouraged to clear the air.
Thank you for your attention.
– Kris Lee 2021.
#primeministermalaysia #tansrimuhyiddinyassin #deputyprimeministermalaysia #IsmailSabriYaakob #healthministermalaysia #adhambaba #immunisationministermalaysia #khairyjamaluddin #informationministermalaysia #directorgeneralofhealthmalaysia #NoorHishamAbdullah

Death to Humankind

“The world has finally come to the conclusion that this pandemic cannot be fully eradicated, after taking us around on a big circus chase, after depleting trillions of dollars from federal funds, and sacrificing lives by the millions. It feels like a big scam, convincing us that we will win, but just like their milder cousins and other incurable diseases in our midst, no single able scientist or researcher would care to probe deeper, allowing our leaders and perpetrators to devise more serious attempts to engineer our world, for a few dollars more inside their pockets.
It just goes to show that big bodied institutions from WHO to UNESCO to UN is a load of bull. They do not have the means necessary to bring the world to a complete halt for only 60days, to clear the air. Or we would have moved on by today, without the need for vaccine.
But what have they left behind?
A legacy of ancillary and a perpetual heap of debts amounting from moratoriums, to lopsided distribution of food and vaccines.
These institutions should, by right be dismantled and defunct. For they are but redundant white elephants pawned on the slave trade, taking cues only from their feeders, whom are willing to rear them as marketing managers for their products.
It is a worldwide folly, not only regional or national, that our leaders did not stress on the importance of healthcare, wellness and the food chain, but rather on dominions, possessions and ammunition. Being very vigilant over their boundaries being infringed, but went berserk when particles 0.5 microns in size escapes enemy radar.
So what have we become?
Today they have managed to make us animals in captivity by coding us with vaccines. By tomorrow, we’d be bionically controlled ready to take orders.
Say we are at the beginning of the death to humankind. Because we could no longer control our own destiny.”
⁃ Kris Lee 2021.

Fair is 25 bucks

A young man and his date were parked on a back road some distance from town. They were about to have sex when the girl stopped. “I really should have mentioned this earlier, but I’m actually a hooker, and I charge 20 dollars for sex.” The man reluctantly paid her, and they did their thing. After a cigarette, the man just sat in the driver’s seat looking out the window. “Why aren’t we going anywhere?” asked the girl. “Well, I should have mentioned this before, but I’m actually a Uber driver, and the fare back to town is 25 bucks.”

(Author Unknown)

Neidder Did I

An Irishman is walking home late at night and sees a woman in the dark shadows.

‘Thirty euros,’ she whispers.

Murphy had never been with a hooker before, but decides what the hell, it’s only thirty euros.

So they hid in the bushes.
They’re going ‘at it’ for a minute, when all of a sudden a light flashes on them.

It is the police.

‘What’s going on here, people?’ asks the cop.

‘I’m making love to me wife,’ Paddy answers, sounding annoyed.

‘Oh, I’m sorry,’ says the cop, ‘I didn’t know.’

‘Well, neidder did I, til ya shined that bloody light in her face”.

(Author Unknown)

Bottoms too heavy

“The real cluster in not only from factories. The real cluster comes from our own home. Four kids with parents, grandparents living together while sharing the same meal. Then there are the workers, not only in factories, cramping in a small apartment without open windows or proper fire escape and sharing everything. The real cluster are the provisions we buy home and not wiping them clean. And then there are the superhero citizens, not only food sellers, preparers and deliverers but everyone who can’t adhere to easy sops, jogging and cycling in the open without masks on, still defying rules to stop socialising. And then there is the government, imposing curfews, forcing clusters to happen. Spending rm 330 million to set up tents nationwide etc when money could have been better spent elsewhere. Vaccination could have been easily facilitated through drive-throughs by the use of schools throughout the country. It’s better without air conditioning. All you need is 3 staff nurses and a security guard at each spot, a cold box van, and an app to register who has taken and who has not, administered by one of the staff nurse. Throughout Penang you only need thirty staff nurses and 10 cold box van and 19 security guards at 10 locations.
With these things you do, you eliminate clusters .
But it seems you can’t think well, and nip problems in the bud. Your bottoms are too heavy, your heads are too light, and your heart is only set on corruption. That’s why.”
– Kris Lee 2021.

In a psychology class

It was a Practical Session in the Psychology Class.

The Professor showed a large cage with a Male Rat in it.

The Rat was in the middle of the cage.

Then, the Professor kept a piece of Cake on one side and kept a Female Rat on the other side.

The Male Rat ran towards the Cake and ate it.

Then, the Professor changed the Cake and replaced it with some Bread.

The Male Rat ran towards the Bread.

This experiment went on with the Professor changing the Food every time.

And, every time, the Male Rat ran towards the Food item and never towards the Female Rat.

Professor said: This experiment shows that Food is the Greatest Strength and attraction.

Then, one of the Students from the back rows said:

“Sir, why don’t You change the Female Rat?This one may be his Wife!”

The Professor stood straight up pointing his finger towards the Student and said “You are a Damn Genius”

(Author Unknown)

Ruthless Cowboys

“The entire Sheraton move was designed to make money out of Jib since Jib pleaded to be relieved of his multitude of charges through the back door with Zahid as his mediator. But instead of travelling from point A to point B, they took the nation on a steeple chase with many detours to keep us guessing, to masquerade their evil intention, so as to conserve their reputation. And so began the greatest marathon on earth. Which sees a straight faced Tun and a red faced Jib coming to terms, puppeteering a gang of misfits with the lure of money, through imaginary power and positions.

This whole plot began with Jib bribing everyone. Zahid was sent on a mission to negotiate with Tun, then heading PR, to expunge his cases. The bait, vulgar cash. Tun, not wanting his own hands dirtied, then turns to his two loyalists, Azmin and moomoo to execute the grand move. After all, it is only money he is after. Tun also knew that he’d be implicated as the number one suspect, if he were to participate in the Sheraton move that evening. Thus he renegaded his promises to emerge, but his two loyalists unknowingly faithfully stood by him, and believed in him, even leaving the dpm’s post opened, possibly moomoo’s own after moomoo has elevated himself to chair the new coalition at the eleventh hour. Fact is, they were all betrayed by the old man.

Months went by, and so were the expunging of many high profile corruption cases from all quarters m. And after a substantial amount of cases has been relieved, the ball game again changes, this time, dribbling back to Umno’s court. Will the ball stop there? That really depends on how far their deal goes. But it all proves one thing right. Money is indeed king, as Jib says. And afterall, it is one big game plan they are now inching through, step by step, and one by one, which now sees a grinning Jib, watching Umno outmanoeuvring ppbm. And If Umno does become the dominant force in PN, what may one think, will happen to Jib?

In its current development, no one understands better than Umno that the rule of the game is that whoever has more seats in the Dewan, controls Parliament. Thus, Umno has cleverly positioned themselves as kingmaker, exerting pressure on their own ruling coalition to realise their plan. Tun could foresee that coming, and that was what I believe, prevented Tun from accepting the pm’s post under ppbm’s banner and as chairman of PN initially, no matter how tempting it may seem to be. Though that was part of the agreement Tun did not honour. But Tun, wise as ever, did not accept it. Having helmed Umno for 22 years, he knew better the sentiments and reactions he will receive from the grassroots, now haunting moomoo, when ppbm did not make up the largest of seat allocation in this coalition, yet dictates everything. Indeed, it was a mistake for ppbm to hop from PR to form PN it seems, but could it be deliberate? As planned so to speak of. As it is now, perhaps Umno may be too belligerent and impatient for its own good.

It is clear that the prospects of Umno joining PR is filled with multitudes of uncertainty. The leaders of PR are united and headstrong, coupled by the fact that each of them commands more seats than what Umno has in store. Umno knew that they themselves are clearly outnumbered. Thus their straight faced hesitation. There is also this equation of losing their own members to ppbm especially those whom were now holding positions in PN’s cabinet. Would these power hungry ministers let go of their positions and remain Umno’s subjects, knowing that if a new government is formed, they may never ever stand a chance to helm these positions given them? Thus, they may join ppbm for all we know. And if they do, Umno would be crippled, maybe for good this time round.

In that case, it would be wiser for Umno to stay within their pact and aligned themselves with PN. More logical than losing face and giving in to perhaps DSAI, their former associate as their new boss. They can also foresee that Moomoo had no choice but to work with them, and sacrificing more seats than what had been agreed to them, thus their demand, with the possibility of heading the PN coalition in time to come. And with Umno in PN, moomoo and his ppbm boys still have a chance at retaining some seats though not many. But it is better than letting Umno go and losing it all to PR. With the latest moomoo’s announcement, offering two senior positions to Umno, it is clear that moomoo is sending an olive branch over to umno, weeks before the emergency ceases which may see a disintegration of PN if moomoo can’t garner enough votes to stay on. And that may also mean there’s a good chance Hisamuddin is also ppbm’s potential pm-to-be candidate to replace moomoo. And if Hisamuddin returns, so will his cousin Jib. Perhaps in the backdrop, ruling from behind the curtains together with Zahid. The course has now ran its full circle. And because of that, Umno is trying hard to control PN, by rejecting the senior positions offered, perhaps by even demanding moomoo to vacate his position. If Umno is more tactful, than to be seen as a greedy warlord, it would be wiser that they proposed Parliament be dissolved, to make way for general elections.

What remains to be seen is clearly understood. Umno doesn’t bow to anyone. Not with fearless grassroots. So we may see moomoo succumbing to Umno’s demand and retire, but defect back to PR with his followers, and the entire PN inundated with the likes of ill mannered loud mouthed ruthless cowboys soon.

Such is politics. No permanent friends nor foes.”

Not friend neither foe

“Right now, during the emergency, till august 1st, no one can push him down, cos he has absolute power handed to him by the agong. If umno wants to gain control of pn by trying to remove him, so can he remove his whole party from pn back to pr. You get the mathematics? So he is not so stupid after all.
From these few years, we have witnessed them as friends becoming foes and foes back to friends. So we have learnt that in politics, there is no permanent friend nor foe. They flip and flop as and when they like. While we are like watching badminton, when the shuttlecock moves from one side of the court to the other. Only our head turns. We cheer when the team we side wins, we boo our opponents. But ultimately, the coveted cup goes either ways to either of them. Not you nor me. Still, we need to pay for our own tickets to watch the game.”
– Kris Lee 2021.

Sheraton Move – a deliberate move?

“After his two henchmen executed the Sheraton move, Tun did not have to tender in, his 3-in-one resignation- as pm, as chairman of pr, and as chairman of ppbm, straightaway. Because with his wealth of experience as a twice elected pm, leading first for 22 years, and then with his popularity soaring after the fall of BN, he has so much power vested in him, he could have easily invoke the sedition act and gotten his two henchmen as well as all the defectors arrested, crippling their plans to takeover. So why didn’t he?
Instead, he did the unthinkable by coercing TT to give up his position. Didn’t Tun, with all his wisdom know that if TT were to resign, the three prongs of our separation of powers- the legislative, executive and the judiciary would have been crippled completely leaving the agong with a constitutional crisis with no one to consult except his royal court? Unless he intended it, Tun should have known that if that happens, the rakyat is gagged over whatever development that takes place right after. And it will all point to the Agong if the next pm doesn’t live up to the rakyats demand.

Ironically when his two henchmen defected to the other side during the night of the Sheraton move, they announced that Tun is also coming over, and straightaway reinstated Tun’s own dismissal, swore allegiance to Tun, and declared him as pm elect? Why? Must they rely on Tun if they have gotten enough numbers to outwit pr even without support from Tun? And it was also strange that the dpm seat was left vacant when moo has enough candidates to create 76 positions. Why must that seat be left open and who was it for?

One theory is that Tun did agree to defect. That’s why the strange occurrences. And that the vacant dpm seat was henchmen number one’s who assume the coveted position which Tun declined. Such treachery. Does that explain why our Agong did not entertain Tun’s appeal and cut him off totally even when Tun has eventually gotten the numbers? Possible. But wait, didn’t Tun have an alibi? Because on the night of the Sheraton move, Tun did not appear. Or, was that a device cleverly plotted by his two henchmen using Tun’s power, support and influence, to garner sufficient seats thus making Tun guilty and implicating him as the architect of the Sheraton move? Later interviews has found that Tun admitted and knew about the plot to overthrow pr. And if that is the case, why didn’t Tun prevent it from happening?

Now comes the most beguiling question. Exactly who and what triggered this Sheraton move? And who paid for the billls? Theories has ranged from Tun’s displeasure with his other ruling coalition for trying to dismantle and correct everything he put in place during his 22 years of premiership therefore, he architect his own defection. If not, why did Tun straightaway resigned from all his positions in one night? When he could have rounded them off with the sedition act? The other theory was Jib, bribing his way off his purportedly 42? counts of corruption cases, made a deal with Tun through Jib’s henchmen and Tun, accepting the deal but not wanting to dirty his own hands, cleverly execute this defection and takeover plans through Tun’s two loyal henchmen without the knowledge of the strongmen of amanah, pkr and dap. So that when mahaiddin takes over, jib’s wishes will come through.

Whatever that has lingered on remains a mystery. But one thing is for certain. The Sheraton move left a distaste inside everyone’s mouth. It has tarnished Tun’s credibility totally for being wish-washy in his handling of the crisis, and besides that , the back door government the two henchmen created without blinking their eyelids makes both of them, public enemy number one. Unless they are both victims of circumstance. Whilst one has made himself the pm, after the unwillingness of Tun to crossover as per their initial deal, the other henchmen had his reputation desecrated because being younger , he remains the top contender to be pm designate and a possible threat to Tun’s preferred dpm or pm-to-be. So who is this candidate that Tun tries to craft the episode for? No one knows. And who paid for the bills during the Sheraton move?

Anyway theories are just that. Theories. Rumours will keep on flying around until sufficient evidence surfaces . Till today, everyone has the right to believe what they want.”

High Risk

“It all now depends on the cabinet and senior ministers in moomoo’s pn cabinet (from umno) if they choose to defect to ppbm, or remain loyal with umno, their party. If they are loyal, and leave ppbm which umno has already withdrew their support from, the chances of them becoming ministers in the new cabinet is slim. Umno may not have them back.
But if they withdraw support from umno, umno will be severely crippled. But umno is banging on their chances of staying loyal, by declaring that they no longer back pn, though the risk is high.”

Rigor Mortis

Little Billy came home from school to see the families pet rooster dead in the front yard.
Rigor mortis had set in and it was flat on its back with its legs in the air.
When his Dad came home Billy said, “Dad our roosters dead and his legs are sticking in the air. Why are his legs sticking in the air?”
His father thinking quickly said, “Son, that’s so God can reach down from the clouds and lift the rooster straight up to heaven.”
“Gee Dad that’s great,” said little Billy.
A few days later, when Dad came home from work, Billy rushed out to meet him yelling, “Dad, Dad we almost lost Mom today!” “What do you mean?” said Dad.
“Well Dad, I got home from school early today and went up to your bedroom and there was Mom flat on her back with her legs in the air screaming, “Jesus I’m coming, I’m coming” If it hadn’t of been for Uncle George holding her down we’d have lost her for sure!”

(Author Unknown)

Last Supper

A Jew applied for an audience with the Pope. After insistently waiting for three days and refusing to budge, he was finally granted one.

“Your Holiness, I come from a long line of cooks,” said the Jew.

“That’s very nice,” said the Pope. “What can I do for you?”

“My father was a cook too. So was my grandfather!” said the Jew.

“I gather,” said an increasingly bored pontiff.

“In fact, my ancestors have been cooks for over 2000 years,” the Jew kept pressing.

At his wit’s end, the pontiff replied, “You have been going on and on about this since you walked in… What can I do about that and how can I help you, young man?”

“Your Holiness,” said the Jew, ” The Last Supper Bill still has not been paid!

(Author Unknown)

Worrying Trend

“We are at a worrying trend.
A portion of us are now blaming each other for the spike in suicide cases because of the unusual climb in the daily statistics. If there is something to blame from the onset till now how the statistics climb, is mass politicking. If there’s an enemy around the corner which we need to watch out for, it is our government who is cleverly pitting us against each other. Refusing to give aid to those who hang white flags is disappointing. So please refrain from pointing fingers at each other. That could start a civil war. You and I know we have done our best. So where did the rise in the figures coming from? I think you can guess this yourself.”

Anything Goes

“There’s the gang, irregardless of age, who has registered with mysejahtera waiting patiently to be called up for their first dose, (including yours truly) but are still waiting in line.
There’re the institutions, from schools to private colleges, whom were privileged enough to enrol their staffs, ( it’s ok they are teachers) preferring not to wait but pay to be vaccinated. But some got it, others are kept wondering.
There’re the assigned private hospitals (god knows which because the list wasn’t announced), collecting queues from individuals who can afford, instead of waiting-in-line from government call ups. (The kiasu kakis). No signs of vaccine being dispensed till date. But in the midst are some private clinics already dispensing vaccines to privilege customers.
Then there’re the constant anonymous circulation in the internet, of abrupt ad hoc dispensing of vaccines in limited quantities, sometimes daily, by ngos outside government quarters with no names . Some claim to have been injected. Others rejected by virtue of age.
And there’re those amongst us who had been injected and some haven’t. Age varies from 12 to 75. Mostly privileged people who fears death most and those with a growing itch to travel. If we would have achieved 13% inoculation figures nationwide, isn’t that taken to mean 1.3 out of 10 people had been injected? I can name you more than fifty around me who haven’t.
So what’s the problem here?
The problem is there’re no ministries including the information ministry, health, or immunisation ministry that keeps us updated about the distribution except for popular perks announced by our pm and bi-weekly cash register curbs by our beloved home ministry.
No one bothers to dispense correct news except the number of infected cases and deaths through the main media especially, which could be easily followed if they announced it through my sejahtera or even smses.
To those who are coerced for private appointments, while there’s vaccine shortage, do you think the government will fulfill your order first or dispense them to the mysejahtera line ups?
Hard to say.
Because in Malaysia, anything goes. But it makes honorary awards all the more important because of the privileges that came with it especially the Tan Sris and Tuns and Royalties who doesn’t need to take their turns like us. Heck! Even those politicians who promises to take care of you and me, because they are the first to be injected, not last. And if they are the first to have taken the double dosage, what’s the risk level if Parliament were to be opened?”

Irreversible Brain Damage

“I have never emphasised enough, the importance of the three important SOPs – washing hands regularly, remain a comfortable distance, wear your masks well, until herd immunity is achieved. And enforcing them is by regularly blasting them on essential media platforms. In fact, there is one more essential, but I have booted it out. Stay at home. Why?
Because your information ministry had a couple of well groomed yuppies in working attire speaking on national tv urging others stay at home when they themselves are in their office. Why? Because you have a fetish to outdo yourself as a joker?
No wonder lah.
Your implementing of fines for those who doesn’t condone to your silly rules has also resulted in systemic discrimination, corruption and racial polarisation when there is an obvious lack of dignified law enforcers with integrity measured against our entire population. Don’t you think it is easier to encourage neighbourhood watch or have you found an ideal home-grown business for your staffs? On the extreme end, we will gladly help you enforce if you’d allow us to bitch-slap any motorist, jogger, hiker or cyclist who doesn’t wear masks, as well as helmets.
Take a good look at your statistics.
Assuming the figures had not been tampered with and are accurate, then it’s high time you accept that your ideas failed full time. Because if it would have worked, your statistics would have shown otherwise.
The curbing of non essential goods and services, time restrictions, and district blockage is time wasting and has no effect on the lowering of infections. Worse, to those who thought that ketuanan gives them immunity and the law is not made for them. Why can’t you instead make the business concerns become responsible enforcers beit hotels, banquet halls or entertainment centres?
So, where do we go from here? When the rate of suicide cases increases? You plan to recruit more divers to retrieve bodies or instruct buildings more than two stories high to install safety nets? You are so out of touch with the ground, implementing rules driven by preferential classes which masquerades your self enrichment.
No wonder lah.
I suggest you exit from where you came from. The back door. If you remain, we will suffer from irreversible brain damage, listening to your kind of excuses.”

Catching Thieves

n Japan they invented a machine that catches thieves.
In Japan, in 30 minutes, it caught 2 thieves.

They took it out to different countries for tests:
*U.S.A* in 30 min, it caught 50 thieves;
*UK* in 30 min, it caught 20 thieves;
*Spain* in 30 min, it caught 25 thieves;
*Nigeria* in 10 min, it caught 200 thieves;
*Uganda* in 10 min, it caught 500 thieves;

*Malaysia* in 5 minutes the machine was stolen.

(Author Unknown)

Be A Man

“Boycott, sanctions, play-down, curtailing truths, dominate world media, things you do to run down and blame China for your own incompetence. Be a man and stand up to fair play. To China, it’s not a power game.

Friendship has always been the number one reason why China helps. If they wanted power, you would have been bankrupted long ago because of your own irrecoverable national debts to China. China have been aiding everyone without interest nor interests including you and have written off many debts. And they have turned around many failing corporations, even those that existed in your own turf when your own men have failed.

The second reason is about caring for one another ~ reaching out to poorer countries to relief their sufferings, the virtue of helping the poor and needy, so that when the poor boy recovers and could stand on its own feet, more opportunities for trade could happen. That is what even your own God taught you to do ~ “To Help those in need”, which you exploited so mercilessly, feeding and sucking off third world countries with might and ammunition, not aid, so you could dominate and feed your urge to control.

The last reason is basically commerce, to feed their engine of growth, and provide an avenue for their cash to channel off, not stuck in their own country. It is to smother the path for world trade to prosper with ease. Their speed of implementing new concepts is because their government does not selectively support anyone with good ideas to lessen workload. They’ll back anyone up with tonnes of cash, for as long as your goods could be exported, and the lessening and easing of red tapes, which is the main factor why corruption no longer exist. Which you can’t do.

Many third world countries ever since eight hundred or more years ago have paid homage to China as the grand daddy of South China Sea. Their fleet helped to rid the sea off pirates when their colonial daddy’s claim they don’t know how, but uses their sea power to take over even more countries, thus many of those countries felt indebted and pay homage to China annually with gifts of gold when in fact China did not asked for anything in return. Did China take over these countries? No. That also , they didn’t.
But I know you would have, knowing your greed and lust for power.

They weren’t born with a wicked heart like yours.”

Walking Mascots

“Your country is controlled by agencies, whereas your presidents are just walking mascots. If not, kindly explain why Biden is implementing the same foreign policy Trump did, when your citizens voted for change from one against the other?
So ask yourself who controls your country?
When I was there, I see big lands, spacious roads, big houses, big sizeable people. Each of your shops is the size of our supermarket with abundance of car parks.
Everything you have there is top class even in the sub urban.
Your citizens had been fed with luxury for the longest of time. And each lunch of yours could feed us for one whole day. I thought with your own heavy breakfast, you’d skip lunch but you didn’t . You reap the finest of Kobe beef.
Guess how much a bottle of olive oil cost in our country when we sell to you peanut oil , even rice, for cheap? Guess your prices of fruits ? Just when we are feeding off things we can’t export unless you buy them for cheap. Thus all our quality produce including timber that goes to your country are the finest. We no longer find ramin, merbau, balau or berlian wood in our hardware shops. The size of one room of yours is the size of our house. We feed on just leftovers. We feed on plastic plates and cups while your people uses fine porcelain. Something you invented after the war. Your computers were priced at rm15k before China sells it to us at one fifth the cost.
It’s a privilege for your families to even have tuna fish and lobsters with pleasure when we were feeding off ikan bilis and kembongs.
Now that your country shouts for an economic war with China, you honestly think your citizens will lift off their butts from their comfort couch and say, “ok lets fight?” Haloooo! One only fights when one have no clothes on one’s back.
Not the Americans.
So walk back to your dreamscape. You’d do better by being friendly. And that’s the best advice you’d ever get from me. Rather than being suspicious over China’s next big move. Looks like you’re jittering because all the pawns on their chessboard seems to be moving simultaneously.
Don’t get me wrong. I love all my American friends. But the way you administrate your country, is in a mess. And stop playing God when you have never helped. Asking for something in return is not help. That is business.
Just saying.”

Shitting in your Pants

Dear Azmin,
Unless you are implying that our Agong is stupid, this is what the Agong said “that Parliament should be allowed to reconvene as soon as possible ‘to enable proper discussion’ of the Emergency Ordinance and Malaysia’s Covid-19 ‘recovery plan’”.
The key here of which I have highlighted in brackets which is ‘to enable proper discussion’ and ‘recovery plan’!
(Not after the Emergency Ordinance is over, neither is it ‘after’ we have recovered.) It means now!
And if you continue to propound your ignorance trying to propagate a differing theory, shifting your goal post towards a simple worded request which is to be acted upon ‘as soon as possible’, maybe it’s high time your esteem colleagues and you step aside, and go back to relearn English in primary school, because not being able to read replies properly suggests misinterpretation, thus, is a threat to national security, and not knowing what ‘as soon as possible’ means all the monkeys including you and your entire ministry continually miss datelines set, when sad to say, you are our frontline ambassadors to this country.
If I may add, maybe you are waiting to be summoned by the King for treachery so you could have your all time high shitting in your pants.”

Fishing

The rain was pouring down heavily in Bangsar, KL. And standing in front of a big puddle outside a pub, was an old Uncle, drenched, holding a stick, with a piece of string dangling in the water.

Arun, a passer-by stopped and asked, “What are you doing, uncle?”

“Fishing” replied the old man.

Feeling sorry for the old man, Arun said, “Come out of the rain and have a drink with me, uncle.”

In the warmth of the pub, as they sip their whiskies, Arun cannot resist asking, “So how many fish have you caught today?”

“You’re the eighth” says the old man!

(Author Unknown)

Men Don’t Listen

Satish and his wife Sarala received a letter from their daughter who had gone to study “Modern Biochemistry” overseas.

She wrote, “My beloved parents, I miss you so much and it breaks my heart to think that by the time I get back, you will be so old. Therefore, I am enclosing a bottle of a red potion that I have invented. It will make you 5 years younger, and so when I return, you will be the same age as I left you. *Please, take only a drop.* Goodbye I love you!”

They opened the envelope and found the bottle with the red potion.

Satish looked at his wife and said, “You go first.”

Sarala took a drop and when she indeed turned 5 years younger, Satish immediately did the same.

Years later, the daughter returns home to find her mother… she is younger and happier, and she is carrying a baby on her back. She tells her daughter how the potion worked and how it has made her look younger. The daughter is happy and she asks about her father.

“Your father? Hmmm! You know how men don’t listen! He drank the whole bottle.”

“Whaaat! Where is he?”

“Who do you think is on my back?”

(Author Unknown)