Mongolian VD

A week after arriving back home from Mongolia, a bloke wakes one morning to find his dodger covered with bright green and purple bumps. Horrified, he immediately goes to see a doctor. The doctor, never having seen anything like it, orders some tests and tells the man to return in two days. The man returns in a couple of days and the doctor says: “I’ve got bad news for you. You’ve contracted Mongolian VD. It’s very rare and almost unheard of here. We know very little about it”.

The man looks a little perplexed and says: “Well, give me a shot or something and fix me up, doc”.

The doctor answers: “I’m sorry, there’s no known cure. We’re going to have to amputate your penis”.

The man screams in horror, “Absolutely not! I want a second opinion!”

The doctor replies: “Well, it’s your choice. Go ahead if you want, but surgery is your only choice!”

The next day, the man seeks out a Chinese doctor, figuring that he’ll know more about the disease. The Chinese doctor examines his penis and proclaims: “Ah, yes, Mongolian VD. Velly lare disease”.

The guy says to the doctor: “Yeah, yeah, I

already know that, but what can you do? My doctor wants to operate and amputate my penis!”

The Chinese doctor shakes his head and laughs: “Stupid Engrish doctah, always want to opelate. Make more money, that way. No need to opelate!”

“Oh, Thank Goodness!”, the man replies.

Give me the medicine now says the guy. The Chinese doctor gave it to him and he gulped it down.

“Yes”, says the Chinese doctor, “You no worry! Wait two weeks, fall off by itself. You save money!”

(Author Unknown)

Self Importance

“When self importance is stripped away, our mind will seek to escape and one will thus withdraw oneself into one’s own tiny cage before emerging into a fantasy world that others find you weird to comprehend or accept. Self consolation and assurance plays out full time in the form of hallucination. Others become victims of your aggression. The majority who can’t escape suffers from depression.”

Belligerent Nutcase

“Race, religious and self centered policies, blockhead ball licking ministers, questionable advisers, failure to penalize crooks that has plundered our nation, cronyism, nepotism, placid economic boost, condescending blank faced coalition partners, infighting, everything that good citizens has rejected therefore the 519 ouster, you copy them, thinking that will help you win? You are a willful belligerent nutcase. Not helped by free press, a fetish to bad mouth other country’s policies, and deep state. Your coalition deserve to fail unless you give up your old ways. Ultra racist has also given you a chance. You can’t help the country focusing on yourself.”

Be That Fisherman

“Why are you not using the bus when you urge others to use the bus when the state wants to build the lrt? Why don’t you become a fishermen since you are so affected by their plight when the state was offering them solutions to overcome their plight? Why are you fighting for the conservation of trees when you specifically ask the council to clear the old trees facing your home? Why aren’t you living in one of those dilapidated shophouses yet you are asking all the previous tenants to remain? Why are heritage guidelines that is supposed to cut across the board are being reviewed on a case to case basis?

It is because of you, and your team of gung-hos from the previous administration who paved the way for the rent control act to be abolished in tandem with the UNESCO listing so as to benefit you and your cronies without realizing that it will change the entire cityscape. The rise in rental were purposefully enacted for the old tenants to vacate. But now you are pretending to be so concern and tried to stop them from moving away from the city? Why don’t you offer to pay for their rentals instead so as to stop them from moving out? You are a poor social engineer and a big time hypocrite. If Malaysians are not lazy to think, you and your gung-hos would be brought to court.”

You Were Born to Leave Me

Spaces in between us

is not part of my plan

For within the spaces seeps in loneliness

coupled with suicidal thoughts

and a mind that turns runny with tears

I had you but I left you

alone

In search of your own destiny

Trenched within the crevices

of cold hard stones

Watching you gay churns tears inside

An innocent baby with high hopes for daddy

But you were born to leave me

Cant you see?

That your life may be better

I have faired worse than you think I am

Daddy has not left you a proud baby

But you are me

Yet you are not of me

And I pain inside

Always with thoughts of you

Because I failed you.

The heavens no longer dances for me

since a long time ago

Dotty dearest, Daddy is so sorry

Daddy’s world will only be ok

if only you are ok.

But daddy didn’t do much for you

And wedged between us is mommy

Please forgive me dotty.