Tight Slap

A Manager, his Assistant, an old woman and her younger daughter were traveling in a train and during that course of time , they got acquainted.

The train went through a tunnel and it got dark.

Suddenly the sound of a kissing followed by a slap was heard.

The train emerges at the end of the tunnel.

The old women and the Assistant sat there looking perplexed.

The Manager bends over holding his face, apparently red from the slap.

No one said a thing.

The Old woman thought to herself:

“These Managers are skirt chasers. I bet he must have kissed my daughter. Good that she slapped him.”

The younger daughter thought to herself: “That Manager must have tried to kiss me but kissed my mother instead and got slapped.”

The Manager thought to himself:

“Damn it! My Assistant must have kissed that young girl and she thought it was me and slapped me instead.”

The Assistant’s thought to himself:

“If this train goes through one more tunnel, I will make another kissing sound and again give my Manager a tight slap. This Rascal keeps on harassing me in the Office!”

(Author Unknown)

Being Sardonic

When decent looking people overdresses, they’d look gaudy, not classy. I just wonder the contours behind all those cover up and ponder if you’re really that badly made cos really, I am bewildered with your spasticity. Not that I am being sardonic.

Hidden Rules

“It is alarming that Chinese has many hidden rules that even I am not aware of. Until I was recently made aware that the paint color used on tombstones, if it is gold, represents dead relatives and red, signifies the living. Thus on the grave of my grandparents, upon my discovery, my beloved cousins, siblings and I, have been dead for more than half a century already . Cant get more incredible than this years Cheng Beng. Drown me please somebody !”

Legal but not logical

A young Law student, having failed his Law exam, goes up to his crusty old professor, who is renowned for his razor-sharp legal mind.

Student: “Sir, do you really understand everything about this subject?”

Professor: “Actually, I probably do. Otherwise I wouldn’t be a professor, would I?”

Student: “OK. So I’d like to ask you a question. If you can give me the correct answer, I will accept my marks as it is. If you can’t give me the correct answer, however, you’ll have to give me an “A”.

Professor: “Hmmmm, alright. So what’s the question?”

Student: “What is legal but not logical, logical but not legal, and neither logical nor legal? ”

The professor wracks his famous brain, but just can’t crack the answer. Finally he gives up and changes the student’s failing mark into an “A” as agreed, and the student goes away, very pleased.

The professor continues to wrack his brain over the question all afternoon, but still can’t get the answer. So finally he calls in a group of his brightest students and tells them he has a really, really tough question to answer: “What is legal but not logical, logical but not legal, and neither logical nor legal? ”

To the professor’s surprise (and embarrassment), all the students immediately raise their hands.

“All right” says the professor and asks his favourite student to answer

“It’s quite easy, sir” says the student “You see, you are 75 years old and married to a 30 year old woman, which is legal, but not logical. Your wife has a 22 year old lover, which is logical, but not legal. And your wife’s lover failed his exam but you’ve just given him an “A”, which is neither legal, nor logical.”

(Author Unknown)

Unfaithful

An old man asks his wife: “Martha, soon we will be married 50 years, and there’s something I have to know. In all of these 50 years, have you ever been unfaithful to me?”

Martha replied, “Well Henry, I have to be honest with you.. Yes, I’ve been unfaithful to you three times during these 50 years, but always for a good reason.”

Henry was obviously hurt by his wife’s confession, but said, “I never suspected. Can you tell me what you mean by ‘good reasons’?”

Martha said, “The first time was shortly after we were married, and we were about to lose our little house because we couldn’t pay the mortgage. Do you remember that one evening I went to see the banker and the next day he notified you that the loan would be extended?”

Henry recalled the visit to the banker and said, “I can forgive you for that.. You saved our home, but what about the second time?”

Martha asked, “And do you remember when you were so sick, but we didn’t have the money to pay for the heart surgery you needed? Well, I went to see your doctor one night and, if you recall, he performed the surgery at no charge.”

“I recall that,” said Henry. “And you did it to save my life, so of course I can forgive you for that. Now tell me about the third time.”

“Alright,” Martha said. “Do you remember when you ran for president of your golf club, and you needed 73 more votes?”

(Author Unknown)

Do You Remember?

An old man asks his wife: “Martha, soon we will be married 50 years, and there’s something I have to know. In all of these 50 years, have you ever been unfaithful to me?”

Martha replied, “Well Henry, I have to be honest with you.. Yes, I’ve been unfaithful to you three times during these 50 years, but always for a good reason.”

Henry was obviously hurt by his wife’s confession, but said, “I never suspected. Can you tell me what you mean by ‘good reasons’?”

Martha said, “The first time was shortly after we were married, and we were about to lose our little house because we couldn’t pay the mortgage. Do you remember that one evening I went to see the banker and the next day he notified you that the loan would be extended?”

Henry recalled the visit to the banker and said, “I can forgive you for that.. You saved our home, but what about the second time?”

Martha asked, “And do you remember when you were so sick, but we didn’t have the money to pay for the heart surgery you needed? Well, I went to see your doctor one night and, if you recall, he performed the surgery at no charge.”

“I recall that,” said Henry. “And you did it to save my life, so of course I can forgive you for that. Now tell me about the third time.”

“Alright,” Martha said. “Do you remember when you ran for president of your golf club, and you needed 73 more votes?”

(Author Unknown)

Uncontrollable

This world needed two sets of rules to regulate. One, for men to abide with and the other, for the place or the environment men lives in. Because men stupendously destroys his own environment and everything within his reach, then, men destroys himself.
Men, must in other words be controlled, before they become uncontrollable. Ever wonder how men left behind massive monuments like the Pyramids of Giza or the Great Wall of China without people in it?

Likewise, for great men that they revere to, they encast their achievements on stone steles or encase them inside catacombs, thus making relics out of them, after they expired. As for the insignificant rest, to dust they all head to.
Thus, when we encounter a well regulated country with everything running smoothly and efficiently, we all know that the two sets of rules are constantly in motion and cogged, with the strictest of enforcement. If not, men would have run it down, like how they ran everything down, and in the end, gave us lost civilizations.”
– Kris Lee 2019.