China Dolls ni

“Out of curiosity, I registered with a dating site, earning myself 20 requests daily. From China doll swindlers trying to do a quick kill, and elderly women expecting to hook up some single handsome rich men. Lol… lol… they are all snapped up long ago dear! Don’t expect handsome men to be monks for life ya?

As the register of marriages gets filled up, the probability of dating single handsome rich men dwindles by the day. Even for those who are not handsome, nor rich.

The reasons why singles remain singles at a mature age are many. Just as many as why leftovers remain leftovers. I am not saying there are no longer decent older men around up for grabs. But for those who remain single, many have fallen in, others have fallen out. To some, it is a choice they hold on to for life. And they won’t let go of that choice. Some value freedom, others, because they do not have freedom owing to family or financial obligations. But for the many who remained single, it is because they suffer from a lifetime of communication difficulties, emotional disconnection, apart from physical and mental anomalies.

If you are older, but still wanted to attract single handsome men, looks like you have to settle for those that were once married. So watch what you write and wish for on your dating profile. If you had never been short of request to chat, if you are older, chances are these men are all married.

Otherwise you will need to continuously spruce up your image, to compete with those China dolls when it comes to looks. Which most men are attracted to. I won’t lie to you. They are your benchmark. Many pretty married women got dumped and cheated by their straying husbands in search of China dolls, no matter how well they take care of themselves.

Sprucing up your looks may win you attention, but that will also earn you countless heartbreaks too. If men are attracted to you physically, you can bet they’ll say anything, including lying about their marriage, just to bed you. For those who are honest and good, are not many. There are, but not many.

The internet has opened up the Pandora’s box that made stray dogs out of men. But men being men, were all born strays. They are all born hunters since primitive ages. Since young, men were designed to make life uncomfortable and silly for everyone. And that’s the truth.

Conclusion- I deregister myself from the dating app for good. Because I have a weakness. I am sapiosexual. I can’t feed on just looks alone. That alone makes me yawn.”

What Women Wants

Seven (7) doors to her heart.

Some say five (5).

There had been disputes concerning ways to win a women to your side.

Here’s mine.

Attention

Attention is being aware of others, besides ourselves, and being the focus of someone’s loving attention. Every woman needs someone who is there to listen to their deepest feelings and needs, and understands her intentions, and fears. Every woman needs that kind of attention to thrive, to be the best they can be. It shows that you care and want her to be around.

Admiration

Admiration is why she grooms herself daily and spends substantial time and savings on skin care and clothes, to look magical to you. When she is constantly admired, she can feel your undivided presence which affirms her self worth, boosts her esteem, and gives her self confidence. It allays her fears and insecurity and warms herself up to you.

Acceptance

In order to be intimate, woman needs to feel safe, accepted, relaxed, and worthy. Trying to challenge her good sense, oppose or challenge her, will not win you love, respect, or understanding. If you accept her for who she is, it means that you are seeing the truth in her within your relationship. That will calm her and give her a sense of stability and safety. It makes her feel homey as she welcomes you into her life and her inner thoughts.

Appreciation

Appreciating her efforts makes her feel good about herself and increases the chances of her love connection with you. Showing her gratitude and validating her efforts reinforces your good relationship. That she knows she can be of help in times of need and contribute to your well being. Women cares when they are in love. Not knowing when to reciprocate her thoughtfulness by showing her appreciation makes her feel rejected.

Affection

As humans, we all need emotional, spiritual and physical affection. It requires some direct behaviors that show us the proof of these things. Affection is often a code word for sex but oftentimes, there can be sex just by being attentive, unexpectedly hugging her from behind, showering her with surprise gifts, sending note cards, dropping her a line when you are busy, these are some keys that makes her feel wanted.

Allowing

Allowing means letting her be who she is, and not trying to control her, change her, cage her, or force her into a mould she finds irrational, intolerable or humiliating. Allowing is the essence of unconditional love. But that doesn’t mean that you can’t set limits in your relationship with her. You can. But setting limits is done to protect your relationship and yourself; whereas controlling is making her do what you want. Acceptance doesn’t make sense without allowing.

Affirmation

Affirming is to express agreement with, or commitment to uphold and support her thoughts and ideas, or her words or actions. To agree or concur with her gives her the emotional support and encouragement she needs, that what she does is all correct.

I stand open to be corrected. But try not to be abusive with your language.

(Author Unknown)

Sin Free?

~For Christians Only~

When Jesus say “if your eyes had cause you to sin, pluck it out”, what he meant was exactly what he says. That the mere act of oogling at a man or women with lust, harbouring the desire to act on it or to fantasise or imagine lewd scenes is enough to make you a sinner. Never mind if you stay faithful to your legitimate companion till your golden years or beyond. Otherwise He could just ask you to wash your eyes, drip some eye solution and you are back to normal, instead of plucking them out. And he meant both eyes because no one pair of eyes can focus on two things at the same time. Not unless you are squint-eyed.

Thus the act of refraining yourself from being physical with somebody who is not your spouse does not warrant you the coveted trophy of being ‘sin free’. And sin is not exclusive of the flesh. It might win you praises from both your wife or your in laws or the general public but not He who owns the heavenly kingdom. And He did not specify the age that one should not ogle thus you can still be a sinner when you are a teenager or stay unmarried.

In other words, no one can claim themselves to be sin free. And lust is but one of the seven sins beside greed, gluttony, pride, anger, vanity and laziness. And acknowledging yourself to be sinful is to recognise that one essential trait which makes us human, the consolation is that if you believe in Him, ‘he will absolve you from your sins for as long as you acknowledge and admit to your weakness’. His role is similar to that of your parents who pardons you from the mistakes you made.

If you cannot understand this simple verse, please stop being a Christian. Being in denial of this simple teaching is planting doubt and corrupting your own mind. Creating your own interpretation is pride and vanity, two forms of sin.

Having said this, I welcome you back to this world as a human, I appreciate everyone’s effort for trying to be godly or god like, but stop celebrating outward physical faithfulness as an achievement. The propensity of behaving ugly is a prerequisite of the human make you are. All men are born sinners as St Paul says. Never more true.”

⁃ Kris Lee 2020.

True Love

True love rejoices in truth; in being honest, and transparent; whereas fake love hides in the darkness of lies

True love makes sacrifices; whereas fake love is only selfish upon themselves

True love lasts forever, unlike physical needs or material existence; whereas fake love dies, when it is only after the flesh

True love grows, and inspires you to be a better person; whereas fake love loves fighting and heated arguments, doesn’t know how to resolve problems calmly, and destroys your good life

True love loves you and loves itself, it looks after its own health and well being, so that you could have a stronger relationship; whereas fake love hates itself, giving you more undeserving pains and problems

True love acts with trembling, not only talks but act with passion, excitement and energy; whereas fake love is nonchalant, never cares, and always give excuses instead of fulfilling promises

True love is hopeful, include you into their future plans, and never give up fighting for you; whereas fake love easily gives up, has no permanent plan for your relationship, and doesn’t treat you as important

True love is faithful, dependable and believes in you despite your shortcoming; whereas fake love is unbelieving, until they are 100% sure of you

True love is loyal, displays strong commitment, and will never cheat on you; whereas fake love is a cheater

True love trusts, and have confidence in your actions, they think positively; whereas fake love doubts, and only harbors negativity about you

True love knows and makes effort to know and understand you, so they could love you better, can read your mind and feel your emotions; whereas fake love just doesn’t get it, doesn’t understand what’s going on with you, and doesn’t care about your thoughts and feelings

True love is wise, mature, and righteous; whereas fake love is foolish, childish, inconsiderate, reckless and narrow minded

True love may be painful, but it protects you and shields you from anything that will hinder growth; whereas fake love hurts, it only gives you momentous satisfaction, it is toxic

True love is honorable, respectful of your opinions, and ambition; whereas fake love is rude, arrogant, and disregards your self worth

True love is joyful, happy, and likes to see others happy; whereas fake love is bitter, filled with negativity, and holds grudges

True love is grateful, thankful and blessed when you are around, and appreciates everything you gave; whereas fake love is envious, feels you are unlucky, and jealous of your possessions

True love feels fulfilled; whereas fake love always feels empty, greedy, and unsatisfied

True love is humble, admits to mistakes, and takes the blame unto himself; whereas fake love is proud, boastful, a credit grabber, and never admit to mistakes

True love is patient, enduring, and forgiving; whereas fake love is easily angered, quick to judge, and punishes you without mercy

True love is kind to you, generous, and compassionate; whereas fake love is cruel, gives you pain and treats you badly

(Author Unknown)