Overcoming Grief

Grief is a state of loss. An emotional upheaval that one feels beit over a divorce, loss of job, death of a loved one. It manifests in 7 stages, some experts argued 5- but it all depends on our equilibrium, our attachment to that party, the circumstances that brought about the loss, and the severity inflicted by the tragedy. The various stages are sequential but rubbery, with no affixed period, and an aggrieved party may sail across, mixing up or skipping some stages in between, and recover in no time at all. The 7 stages are: shock and denial, pain and guilt, anger and bargaining, depression, upward turn, reconstruction and working through, and finally, acceptance. But to ride through grief, one must know firstly how grief happens.

Religion has been the pinnacle of mankind. It is responsible for our lifestyle, the constant unrest between nations, civic consciousness, moral conduct and governance. It shapes us to become who and what we are today. However, what most people overlooked is the well known mantra of ‘Giving more so that one could receive.’ An extreme example would be “If anyone slaps you on your right cheek, offer him your left also.” Deep, mysterious parable that is. But a powerful one. That is another topic of discussion altogether.

Giving is an act of love, and giving begins with one being emphatic, generous, happy, caring, or simply, being dutiful. No one will give to their enemies where love doesn’t co-exist. And the more you love someone, the more you will give.

But taking or receiving is inevitable. Taking begins with the suckling of our mothers breasts, till one receives education, and finally when one is fit to take on the world. That dependence comes from one’s natural parents, guardians or sponsors. It is this constant state of receiving that one can mistakenly inherit the dogma of entitlement, thus quite often, a receiver will never know when to give back. Even after they grow into successful adults. Sometimes they defer their plans, others went chasing after rainbows. As a result, their caregivers are neglected because giving is not reciprocated. Until that fateful moment of loss arrives.

The receiver is then confronted with guilt, regret, denial , blaming oneself, the “ifs” I were to do this and that, the longing to do more which they did not initiate when their loved ones is still alive, because there exists an imbalance between giving and receiving. If one would have given enough or more than one receives, grief is short lived. But that is a natural frailty of man. To put off affirmations, praises, visits, giving of gifts. All these can be taught, but never will they ever be fully executed.

But managing grief is entirely different. The rites encountered in certain religions helps the aggrieved to let go. They are the hidden gems subtly designed with human emotions in mind. This if one could afford to, a full rite is better than half-baked ones. The action of burning incense is letting go, the serving of meals and drinks and the giving away of sweets to well wishers is letting go, the throwing of gluttonous rice, the offering of candles, the placing of wreathes and flowers on the casket, the singing of hymns, the shouting of mantras, the placing of bones into urns, throwing flowers into the pit, these rituals were all designed with giving in mind. If one couldn’t afford to, the giving away of the deceased possessions to the poor and underprivileged is another way of letting go. And when one gives, one will gradually let go. And the more one let go, the natural progression lightens our heart to recovery.

So it is right to say that hidden beneath all religions, beit right or wrong, our forefathers whom has designed all these sacred rites and mantras had us in mind. To help us heal.

Something Deadlier?

This Pandemic is mild. Its death rate, tiny. But it spreads quick, and its effects on our lungs, can lead to disastrous complications. Because of that, earthlings began to observe newer habits, just to avoid contacting it. Still, there are many superheroes out there whose ears still hear nothing, and their freedom, not negotiable. If the world could come together, and endure a 30 days total lockdown in every corner of our world , something like an ‘Earth Hour’, can we overcome the problems all at once? Let’s named it ‘COVID 30’. But can UN unite with WHO and world leaders to have an EGM to agree on this common fight? And stop the fattening of wallets of hand sanitizers and face mask producers so we could unmask ourselves again?

Let us imagine, what if something deadlier is concocted into our atmosphere in the near future, whilst this pandemic remains. But one that is not as easily shirked off. Isn’t that a confirmation that biological and chemical warfare is out there blooming now? With viruses coded to attack specifically only on the organs it was programmed or designed to attack?

Because of that, scientists should focus on developing tablets or aerosol sprays that when consumed or applied, seeps into our skin and forms a protective sheen rather than wasting enormous budgets on developing defence and iron domes that can only deflect weapons, but still renders humanoids helpless to vulnerable chemicals and viruses? Wouldn’t that be better than zipping ourselves in two inches thick suits when the real defence is only concentrated between our noses, eyes, mouth and our skin?

Think about it.

Casting out Charm

To know if a person is charmed (In Hokkien’Tiok Kong Thau’), experienced mediums or deliverers will look into the victims pupil and observe its dilation and sheen.

To confirm his suspicion , he will make the suspect crawl under fishing nets left basking at the beach during sunrise or make him cross a river. For it was said that evil spirits wouldn’t cross a river or sea, and so are charms.

For if a person can do that with ease, that means he/she is not suffering from some kind of charm or possession. Evil spirits will also get themselves trapped in the net and so are charms, therefore the possessed will refuse to crawl beneath them. That is the reason why fishing nets has always been part of the accoutrement found above door entrances in shophouses, besides the more popular pakua ‘Eight trigrams’ used in Taoist rituals that has a curve mirror smacked in the centre of it.

If a person is found charmed, the medium or bomoh will first search for the ‘opening’, a gateway where the charm enters from, and then determine the origin of the charm inflicting him. That opening is usually an object left in the garden or main door of the home of that person charmed. Without that gateway, the charm cannot enter the home and attack the person. Evil spirits can also enter homes through other means, like sneaking under umbrellas for instance, which is also another reason why locals shun carrying open umbrellas when they enter into their own houses at night, whilst our fellow Malay friends washes their feet before entering.

The openings or gateway are usually claypots wrapped in cloth left perched in between branches of a tree. Inside the pot, depending on the severity of the infliction, were found rusty nails, amongst other things. The colour of the cloth will also determine where the charm originates from. That will direct the medium to the source if he needs to seek aid, if the charm is too powerful hence refuses to leave that person. A yellow cloth is left by a Chinese shaman, the red, by the Thais, and the black, the Malays. So it was believed that the most fearful charms comes from the Thais.

When they are found, the medium will then perform some incantations, climb up the tree, and dislodge it by the kick of his feet. The act of kicking or knocking it down with the feet is sacred, for if hands were used, the charm will also enter the medium when he picks it up. Other than football, our feet cannot pick up things.

Hence the old wives tale of shunning the idea of picking up things left on the roadside not meant for you.

Sin Free?

~For Christians Only~

When Jesus say “if your eyes had cause you to sin, pluck it out”, what he meant was exactly what he says. That the mere act of oogling at a man or women with lust, harbouring the desire to act on it or to fantasise or imagine lewd scenes is enough to make you a sinner. Never mind if you stay faithful to your legitimate companion till your golden years or beyond. Otherwise He could just ask you to wash your eyes, drip some eye solution and you are back to normal, instead of plucking them out. And he meant both eyes because no one pair of eyes can focus on two things at the same time. Not unless you are squint-eyed.

Thus the act of refraining yourself from being physical with somebody who is not your spouse does not warrant you the coveted trophy of being ‘sin free’. And sin is not exclusive of the flesh. It might win you praises from both your wife or your in laws or the general public but not He who owns the heavenly kingdom. And He did not specify the age that one should not ogle thus you can still be a sinner when you are a teenager or stay unmarried.

In other words, no one can claim themselves to be sin free. And lust is but one of the seven sins beside greed, gluttony, pride, anger, vanity and laziness. And acknowledging yourself to be sinful is to recognise that one essential trait which makes us human, the consolation is that if you believe in Him, ‘he will absolve you from your sins for as long as you acknowledge and admit to your weakness’. His role is similar to that of your parents who pardons you from the mistakes you made.

If you cannot understand this simple verse, please stop being a Christian. Being in denial of this simple teaching is planting doubt and corrupting your own mind. Creating your own interpretation is pride and vanity, two forms of sin.

Having said this, I welcome you back to this world as a human, I appreciate everyone’s effort for trying to be godly or god like, but stop celebrating outward physical faithfulness as an achievement. The propensity of behaving ugly is a prerequisite of the human make you are. All men are born sinners as St Paul says. Never more true.”

⁃ Kris Lee 2020.

True Love

True love rejoices in truth; in being honest, and transparent; whereas fake love hides in the darkness of lies

True love makes sacrifices; whereas fake love is only selfish upon themselves

True love lasts forever, unlike physical needs or material existence; whereas fake love dies, when it is only after the flesh

True love grows, and inspires you to be a better person; whereas fake love loves fighting and heated arguments, doesn’t know how to resolve problems calmly, and destroys your good life

True love loves you and loves itself, it looks after its own health and well being, so that you could have a stronger relationship; whereas fake love hates itself, giving you more undeserving pains and problems

True love acts with trembling, not only talks but act with passion, excitement and energy; whereas fake love is nonchalant, never cares, and always give excuses instead of fulfilling promises

True love is hopeful, include you into their future plans, and never give up fighting for you; whereas fake love easily gives up, has no permanent plan for your relationship, and doesn’t treat you as important

True love is faithful, dependable and believes in you despite your shortcoming; whereas fake love is unbelieving, until they are 100% sure of you

True love is loyal, displays strong commitment, and will never cheat on you; whereas fake love is a cheater

True love trusts, and have confidence in your actions, they think positively; whereas fake love doubts, and only harbors negativity about you

True love knows and makes effort to know and understand you, so they could love you better, can read your mind and feel your emotions; whereas fake love just doesn’t get it, doesn’t understand what’s going on with you, and doesn’t care about your thoughts and feelings

True love is wise, mature, and righteous; whereas fake love is foolish, childish, inconsiderate, reckless and narrow minded

True love may be painful, but it protects you and shields you from anything that will hinder growth; whereas fake love hurts, it only gives you momentous satisfaction, it is toxic

True love is honorable, respectful of your opinions, and ambition; whereas fake love is rude, arrogant, and disregards your self worth

True love is joyful, happy, and likes to see others happy; whereas fake love is bitter, filled with negativity, and holds grudges

True love is grateful, thankful and blessed when you are around, and appreciates everything you gave; whereas fake love is envious, feels you are unlucky, and jealous of your possessions

True love feels fulfilled; whereas fake love always feels empty, greedy, and unsatisfied

True love is humble, admits to mistakes, and takes the blame unto himself; whereas fake love is proud, boastful, a credit grabber, and never admit to mistakes

True love is patient, enduring, and forgiving; whereas fake love is easily angered, quick to judge, and punishes you without mercy

True love is kind to you, generous, and compassionate; whereas fake love is cruel, gives you pain and treats you badly

(Author Unknown)

We Didn’t Have It Good Then.

 

Part 1.

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We didn’t have it good then. I mean there’s a high degree of separation between our childhood formative years and our adolescence period. We had it sweet in the beginning but after those years transcending till teenage and adulthood, it gets more bitter as time passes. Then came the plunge.

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My sister was the more brilliant of us two so she had the privilege to go UK for her further studies whilst I was, at my usual naughty self chasing skirts. I was brilliant in my primary but I guess after a few cracks on the head (one of which I can still remember the blood streaming down my face in Wellesley Primary), I think it took a toll on certain cognitive areas which affected my studies. My strength lies in creativity, I’m highly imaginative, expressive, organised, and a little obsessed with details. I am a sucker for system and to design and arrange things. Other than that, I have poor learning skills and I was always caught crying everyday when it comes to homework.

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My parents weren’t highly educated because they were the caught-in-between the Japanese Occupation and most of the time, they were busy thus, mom always relied on my 2nd Ee( mom’s sis) for the planning part. Mom has two sisters , the last (3rd Ee) was younger.

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Then, we were rich. In 1966, dad struck lottery. 2nd prize in the social welfare and for a reward of $60K at that time, he saw his goal changed thus he became a businessman. We moved from Jockey Road to Jones Road after my paternal grandpa passed away.

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Both mom and dad thence became instant celebrities, well at least to the Chinese fraternity. Mom was a socialite and so was dad. Dad’s was more of an obligation and duty. We had everything we wanted as a child. Dad bought us games and sports equipments. And taught us all he knew. He even had a basketball net installed at our balcony so we could have fun. Compared to my brother, I was the skilful one either in aiming, in roller skates, or in cycling. He dropped out from Kungfu classes. I did not. And I earned the privilege to demonstrate my skills at Han Chiang indoor stadium at a tender age of 13. And I learnt to net balls jumping on skates by myself. We had lived in amahs, drivers, gardeners, car wash boys. And though they were both Chinese educated, they sent my sis and I to English schools whilst my brother went to a Chinese one. I guess they did not have the luxury of time to even think nor worry about our future because things were going alright. Three cousins were staying with us and sort of help to guide us when my parents weren’t around. We also have our paternal grandmother around most of the time. And most evenings, we’d be tagging along to their numerous involvement in Chinese associations, clan, societies, temples that both my parents were involved in or one of their numerous dinners . My dad had a hall named after him in Presgrave Street, being the largest donor, and he was also Chairman of his alumni for years. They also organised regular getaways for their friends – picnics, bungalow stays, travels etc and as children, I must say we were made to feel wholesome. Dad was great with children and I’m proud to say that unlike his friends who usually attends functions alone, we are always there where he was. As for my mom, she can never get attached to kids.

Dad bought a 7 acre farm in Jalan Tengah where Sunshine Square now sits, and there he reared pigs for sale. We were then the second largest pig farmers in Penang, if not the biggest. And the returns was good. (He gave that up eventually because everyone was caught in the factory bug and he found it hard to find workers to clean the pig sties. Eventually the government acquired it for a pittance claiming they wanted to develop it for low cost housing. My dad counter offered to have it developed and share the earnings with the government but was declined. It went to court. We lost. That land never got developed. It was sold to Suiwah Group instead 40 years later with Chong Eu being made the Group chairman. The government bought ours for Rm1.38/sq foot but sold it at RM44/sq ft.

That farm was the place we spent most of our Sundays at, playing, catching fishes, perching on rambutan trees etc. We had our fun whilst dad took care of his itenary and stuffs. We also owned a land in Telok Kumbar, a house in Jalan Bunga Pudak, Tj Bungah. At that time, we were living in Jones Road. The home is still there after we sold it and the owner till today, did not change the facade.

Mom never need to cook for us because we have amahs so all she does was to order them around. She enjoys that Tai Tai lifestyle. Mom hardly stayed home. She chooses to eat outside everyday and every meal if possible. So between both of them, there’s so much going on. And of course her duty of fetching us home from school which left me stranded a few times. It never happened to my sister nor my brother. I was the unlucky one I guess. We owned a Gas Shop in Hutton Lane where dad’s trading company was also based, a motorcycle dealer shop in Jln Sungei Ujong, a petrol kiosk in Chain Ferry , Butterworth, and a beauty perm parlour at Kinta Lane. Dad even had his name on his own shampoo brand called ‘Lebon’ and we were then, sole distributors for Misasa Cosmetics. Each of these companies were helmed by their trusted friends. But little did it occur to them that fate would take a down turn. How? I don’t know. We were too naive to understand but as children, we were caught in the plethora of the storm.

In between their numerous fights, I could roughly gather that dad was promiscuous. But news in later years as gathered from cousins also claim that my mom also had her fair share of flings. During one fight, my grandma was also ploughed with a flower pot meant for my dad’s head when she tried to mediate. And we cried and cried. Mom also dragged us to follow her at times because she received tips of my dad’s whereabouts but it turned out to be false news. I guess she spent a lot of her money hiring investigators to trail him. One day, mom decided to leave, taking my sis and younger brother along with her. But left me with my dad. That wasn’t the time when they officially moved. When they officially moved out from Jones Road, I was in Singapore.

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Back to when chao truly happened, my sister was forced to return and so was my 2nd auntie’s daughter, both of them in UK. This eldest cousin of mine from my 2nd aunt, my parents help support them for awhile because my 2nd aunties husband, my 2nd Tniau, suffered a misfortune in his own investments. Then, he was GM of a big Singapore company. In fact he was caught first and my dad had to sell off the Jalan Bunga Pudak house to help him. (As how my dad puts it to me in later years, he succumbed to my mom’s pressure and my 2nd auntie kneeling and begging him for help) He also blames my mom for foiling his bid to get Honda motorcycle dealership direct from Japan when they came over because our sales outclass Boon Siews.) That enrages my granduncle very much because my grand uncle trusted my dad alot. My 2nd Tniau was brilliant, but succumbed to ambition and he was later sued for criminal breach of trust, which landed him in Changi Prison for 3 1/2 years. But this 2nd aunty of mine was quite enterprising in a small way even as a ‘Tai Tai’, like my mom is. Before her husband’s fate, she herself had a thriving event planning company and also serves as a ‘pop-band manager’. She organizes live appearances and performances for the rising stars of Singapore, Hong Kong and Taiwan music and film industries to perform in Penang. That was in the heydays and we as kids get to see these shows for free and had dinners and lunches with them. One of the stars wanted to bring me to Hong Kong but my parents thought I was too young to follow. I guess you could say my aunt’s family and ours was quite close at that time. And so, she ended up having to feed her three daughters in a rented apartment in Singapore and her eldest daughter has to start working to help feed their family. They lost their Green Lane house (Singapore). Eventually her two daughters grew up and flew with SIA till today, as senior flight stewardesses and the last, once Janice, now Dennis, had her sex changed, legally in Singapore. And so it was like this, ever since young, it was party, party and party for us.

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And I was a dandy. After my MCE, I was asked to help in the petrol station. I rode my brother’s bike there everyday (for two years? or so) and everyday without fail, I fooled around after coming back home. Because then, I only have eyes for women and I was dead bored at the petrol kiosk. The petrol business and gas shop was in my mom’s name. And there I was, in the midst, growing fond of a woman a year older than me, who came from a gloriously rich background from Kangar. At that time, as I found out, they were the second richest family after the Kuoks in Kangar. In between, I made trips to her hometown in Perlis, stayed in her home, and she also bunked in with me once, in Penang. Before that, there were other attachments but not like this one. The next minute I knew, her parents were visiting our place. Mom didn’t like that thought I think because both of us were very young. And so I thought in later years, she arranged with my 2nd auntie to have me sent over to Singapore, to get me away from this girl, got me a job in an architectural firm and also a place in Poly. So there I landed. I was worried for myself and asked my dad if I really need to go Singapore? He said “you better go” I guess being influenced by my mom about my attachment with that girl from Kangar. Years later when I was back, this girl I was subtly stopped from seeing passed away at 22. If I could remember clearly, from brain tumour. Those days when there was no internet, we literally corresponded and anticipate the slow mails. At one time it stopped. But little did I suspect anything amiss. I did go back to her parents holiday home at Ooi Thiam Siew Rd when my days in Singapore was over, but it was all totally dark. Neither did I suspect anything because people do move. It was only one fine day at the office as I was flipping the days newspaper did I come across her obituary which was already a year old.

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Eventually, after my parents separated (but not legally, because my dad didn’t sign the papers), dad moved to Hutton Lane in the gas shop we owned, with my 3rd Kor’s entire family, whose son worked for us. Dad paid for their bills even whilst his son gets his salary. My dad was always kind to his own poor siblings. whilst my mom moved to my grandma’s home in Barrack Road. I wasn’t with them when they moved and thus I didn’t have the privilege to take what was mine. At first my dad moved there too but was chased out by my mom after my Tua Ku allegedly claims my dad brought home a woman. Our family home in Jones Road was already sold then. And so are the rest of his properties except for the petrol kiosk and gas shop which was registered under mom’s name. My mom went to manage my grandma’s tyre shop in Prangin Road, after my grandma died. Unfortunately, my mom’s siblings were all vultures to a fault. No one wants to get involved in the running, but everybody wanted their share. Mom was named to manage the business because my grandma doesn’t trust her second daughter, my 2nd Ee. My mom was a kind soul and she never refuses anyone in need. And so her siblings depleted my grandmas savings and my mom, in need of cash, siphoned it from the petrol station which eventually made us lose the license. Dad was enraged. But she allowed my dad to operate the gas shop in her name. That was also the very last business we ever had. And moved my brother to work with him because he failed in his studies. Eventually they had my name and my brothers name inside the company but that was because my 3rd Kor’s son and his wife made a proposal to invest and dad agreed. After some years when they decided to venture on their own, my sis told my dad to relook at the accounts and that was when discrepancies were found. My cousin’s wife begged for mercy and eventually my 3rd Kor’s entire family moved out , so the company was again transferred back and remained with us. When dad passed away, my mom gave the key to the safe and running of the business to my brother because he was already working there with him and knew the ins and outs. I was caught in my own problems and gave my share in the company to my sis in law. That company was a disaster and day by day, I saw my dad continuously ran short of funds that he needed to borrow. Not like there wasn’t business and his overheads was low. I suspected something amiss and not until a year and a half later did I manage to convince him to look into his accounts and discovered that the company was actually making money! But that he spent it all on his gambling! He spends roughly RM6K per week on four digits alone. So before I left the company, I updated his accounts till the day I left. I liase with his accountant and they were all amused at my hurried effort. Apparently, dad did not update his income taxes for more than 15 years. The rest, I thought, was for my brother to worry about. I devised a plan for him to settle the sum owed and the loans he borrowed from. In three years, he’d be doing well and so I hoped. He agreed. The money came, his debts settled and as fate takes its toll, a few months later, he passed away. Somehow when his loan was settled as I sat there talking to the lenders, I could see a relive in him like a heavy burden came off his shoulder. But he didn’t live the day to see a better future before him.

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And so there I was, living with my 2nd auntie in Singapore whilst shuffling day and night working in an architectural firm, and nighttime, Poly. After some disagreements with her, a year or to later, I moved in with my 3rd Ee. I guess mom had a little arrangement with my aunties then but as for my own expenses, sometimes it didn’t come on time and I had to borrow money from my classmates, for my daily living. Mom ran grandma’s business and when coffers depleted, she borrowed alot to keep us going and trying her luck at the one-armed bandits at the Chinese Merchants Club. She struck twice but being greedy, she gave everything back. On her first strike, she let me keep her money. We convinced her to buy a home. But only two days after, what went into my account came out and returned to the one arm bandit. On her second strike, she let my sis kept her money. My sis didn’t return her. And so I thought it better to fend for myself when mom was in her darkest of days. What I got from the architectural firm was mere pittance, as I was only an apprentice then. So I went into modelling for some extra cash. Not that I wanted it, but I needed it. Also, I thought I was young, energetic and able and thus, I can exploit my looks to good use and that helps keep me alive so that I do not need to further burden my mom. Four years I stayed in Singapore, and came back to Penang in 84.

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(To be continued)

Why Doctors When God Heals?

All over the world, clusters of people still crowds carnivals and annual events. When asked, most of them thought it their RIGHT, and owe it to FATE, if ever they contacted the virus. So should our national healthcare includes and provide for individuals such as these who still persist, not that they are ignorant or misinformed? And how should they treat individuals who thought it is the governments duty to make them well, if they fall ill, straining hospital capacities like it’s their inheritance and entitlement?

Around the world, every individual and government is now tested. Because in every country, there are bound to be individuals who thought they are invincible by gravitating towards God’s healing power, or the protective gear they slipped on, bought through the internet, or, the age old potion or amulet their community reveres to. In some religions, laities were made to believe there is no purpose for God if obeisance is lacking. There are those who thought because everyone is quarantined, the streets are therefore safer than their own homes. Then, there are also those whom are used to outdoors. As for the rests, the condition of their houses does not warrant it to be called home.

The believe in culture and traditions is imbued on many since young, thus the believe in old wive’s tale, superstition and concoctions hence, the potions made of gall bladders and animal bones. And if that doesn’t work, most likely, these traditionalist would either owe its failure to the wrath of god or the severity of the illness, or fate. To convince individuals such as these to consult doctors is a menacing affair. The natural tendency of people to cower themselves with assurances, safety and security makes them susceptible to advertising gimmicks thus the tendency to buy and believe in protective gears. And when those products fail, they will resort to the next good buy, again through online or through their friends recommendation. For those who stray from quarantine, some were used to the outdoors so their urge for a breather is a must. For as long as their mind reassures them that the streets are safe, since no one is out on the streets, so would they stray wherever their mind, body and soul wonders to. And there are those whose home are too pigeonholed to warrant a lengthy quarantine. They are the most pitiful.

But perhaps, the most challenging to convince are those who thought themselves as invincible when cloaked with the armour of God whom believe that without their total submission, their belief would be compromised. That is most unfortunate.

Believers must be made aware and understand the manifestation of spirit and why God, gave a different purpose to each one of us depending on our capability thus, the doctors, the scientists, the researchers, engineers, architects, chefs, artists and cleaners etc. For its only within that scope of understanding can one understand the need to rely on his healing through the people he commissioned and commands because to each, He gave a purpose in life. Everyone serves God in the humblest of ways He wanted us to. There are those whom he gave wisdom, another the gift of knowledge, to others, the gift of healing and to the rest, prophecy and etc. We must also accept the fact that every person who has ever been healed by God in some way or another, will die existentially. With this understanding in mind, we should now know that to each and everyone of us, God gave a gift in this life because it fulfills a need and purpose to this world we live in. Together, we make and heal the world. And to each one of us, whether we believe in God or not, be convinced that death is for sure certain. That is His plan and His grace.

When sin entered the world as a serpent to tempt Adam through Eve, it is certain that everyone throughout their lifetime will experience futility, rejection and pain, and eventually die. As any mother would experience the pangs of childbirth, the experience is not of condemnation, but of purification and joy. Therefore, disease and sickness are occasionally inflicted upon people as a purifying and rescuing judgment. In other words, an act of mercy. And if one can be so bold to say, God sometimes uses disease to bring particular judgments upon those who reject him and give themselves over to sin. Thus, all natural disasters albeit flood or famine, tsunami or disease — are a call to people to repent and realign their lives.

There are many ways God works in our lives, but it is the same God who does the work through all of us and manifests his Spirit upon us that each one of us may work his own salvation, therefore his many gifts. Thus, to believe that God could cloak and heal you is certain, but what he cloaks away are your fears and the perception of death as punitive. But you must also rely and depend on his fruits that he gifted you wholeheartedly through the hands of others He commands, that you may be relieved of your anguish, pain, suffering and concerns. That is the reason why we should all trust doctors despite our faith background. For those who are adamant, if you like to interpret it in another way, doctors help and relieve you from your pain, suffering, grief and sickness, whilst your God heals you.

Eventually the country with the firmest of regulation and strictest of implementation will win the fight against the virus. But that also depends on the loyalty and respect the citizens have towards the government of the day, whereas obedience and the quality of training and discipline plays a part, afforded by both parents and their school teachers when young. If individuals are used to orders, so will they understand and adhere when orders are imposed. For if they are not, it will be difficult to clamp them down not unless the firmest of regulation and harshest of penalty are imposed.

Not far from it is how people should be convinced the role doctors act in the healing mystery of God. Because without that understanding, those that leaves their health to fate is courting unnecessary danger and in the process, promote more harm than good to the community they live with. That becomes an irresponsibility which is a sin. Because sin is what you do that causes inconvenience to others. One must not be ignorant. We all need doctors, even when God heals.

Chuckles in the Midst of Revetment

 

Never in the history of our country has our people ever been so spruced up, spanky and clean! In another 18 days, we’d all be fairer skinned, slimmer and possibly more self absorbed. We’d also probably lost track of our goals and ambitions after the constant attack on detergents, shampoos, sanitizers and the heart to heart talk with our plants, fridge and coffee maker. We would have probably got used to the simpler necessities of life.

The immobilization and cranky solitude will make an imprint on us all, as we furrow our existence – being conscious about our day to day living, and waking up to visions of a cleaner sky, sea, land, trees, roads, tomorrow and of submerged silence. We will become more acutely aware of the people we come into contact with, giving up of handshakes for namaste, and segregating what matters and what can wait. And the immaterial from the material.

Our mind travels. We now relate ourselves to the animals in captivity at the Zoos, looking out from their cages day in, day out. And the fishes talking to their own reflection inside glass tanks. And we relate ourselves to the people anguished inside the atrocities of war with nothing to look forward to.

But as we all tone down and the world mellows in quivering spin, the smog that curtains our garden now clears. In its rare silence, we can relax to the chirping of birds and distinguish pure decibels once subdued by the noises infused by the mass honking of vehicles. We can rejoice to the depletion of aerosolic dust that once capped our lungs.

We are now more intelligent.

More critically aware of hygiene because we saw through human susceptibility and the mass pillage of undeserving corpses worldwide.

The earth now heals slowly as man dislodges their daily activities, gives up their wants for needs, and continue to prioritize what used to fashion us to the brink of despair.

After a further 18 days of revetment, we could all pat our own backs and be proud.

Think about how much more you will know about your partner, and the smell of jasmine tea. Some will break down, some eventually loses their minds. Some found new ways to dry their clothes and some, would crawl under their beds to sleep. And some would have turned philosophers, amid the chuckles from infants that warms our hope.

Next Adam

I remembered leaving only soil inside my pots and out shoots new plants. For those whom are concern about the extinction of mankind, I beg to differ. Given the right soil, sunlight and water, evolution again will begin. After our earth heals.

And when that happens, I’d like to be the next Adam. Scaring myself to death when the wind wails, thunder calls, darkness fell and dinosaurs appearing unexpectedly when I poop. That’s far more exciting than wearing face masks!

And I’d like to have Eve by my side. Maybe Eve should come before me. She can set up the fire and find a shelter and probably invent soap and shampoo. Can’t do without them. Then make a bed and cook. Life I think is sweeter with Eve around.

Everyone needs an Eve!

 

Public Threat

“It’s a sham how our local authority handles the retardation of covid-19. If it is in Singapore, China or elsewhere, you’d be dragged off your feet by soldiers in protective suits the minute they identify you as a suspect therefore possible carrier because as a suspect, you are now considered a public threat. You become a public threat due to the contagiousness of the virus you are carrying!

So does our authority understand what a public threat means? Or are they still living in their own ignorant world?

I am amazed that our authorities need to urge or coax the attendees of mass gatherings to report to the health authorities as if it is still within their right as a public threat to choose between going for treatment or letting the virus make their rounds so that a virus so contagious can spread.

They should realize that that onus is on them to keep the rest of the citizens protected from public threat including the suspect who choose to surrender his fate to his God and they should understand that the suspects right is confiscated the minute that suspect becomes a threat to the nation. It is mind boggling to watch them defer making a harsh decision when they could go on all night to plot a coup.

What’s the matter with all of you? Caught a brainstorm?

Ini tabiat bodoh tau?“

Compel

Buddhism doesn’t compel. It seeks only to inform. That doing good brings much reward. Nirvana, rebirth, generational blessings, it enables followers to earn merits for the repentance of their sin. So followers flood homes of slighted individuals, infirmaries and the underprivileged, soup kitchens and help diffuse suffering. Day in day out. My dad used to comb seven temples every year during CNY without fail, then gave alms to the poor who lined the gangways. We as childrens help distribute the Ang Pows.

And what do Christians do? Trying to be holier than thou, grimacing that they are more wounded than Christ on the cross, scorning drunkards and driving beggars away from church grounds, bargaining salvation to those with hungry stomachs in exchange for food, going gaga over parish elders, deacons and pastors, praying for more blessings for themselves. Don’t get me wrong . I believe in Christ. But not the laities who kept the altar to themselves. Maybe all the altars should be removed since their understanding is so lowly.

Animal Virus?

“Back in the heydays across the Southeast Asian plateau where every other plantation owner is entitled a shotgun permit, wild life hunting was a common sport for the male gender, a habit acquired from colonizers, what used to be regarded as ‘the sport of Kings!)

Wild life meat and body parts were believed to be medicinal and beneficial thus many people consume them as elixir and courage booster, whilst the aborigines and Bomohs kept the bones, skins and whiskers as amulets because of the believe in their spiritual, magical and healing aspects. Supposedly, it wards the wearer against evil spirits, harm or impending danger. Teeth of wild boars, tigers, and palm of bears were strung around necks and arms or fashioned as anklets. Some were hung at the entrances to homes whilst others were lodged onto headgears and staffs.

Whilst CITEs has now classified some of these species as endangered, and health authorities has pinpointed some of them as the possible culprit towards the new strains of viruses plaguing the air, everyone of Southeast Asian origin can attest to have seen bottled snakes and centipedes in Chinese medicinal shops and witnesses the tradition of drinking the blood of snakes and the devouring of its meat, cooked in various styles especially herbal alongside porcupines, monitor lizards, civet cats, flying foxes, frogs and even turtles. This practice is very much a part of life. It has existed for centuries and is still very much alive today. In countries like Thailand or Indonesia it adds as a curious tourist draw, but the irony is, why didn’t the deadly mutant virus manifest then and does it’s mischief but managed to stay submerged? Why then must it be a couple of chickens a few years back, then swine, and now rats and bats? And why China?

Science has repeatedly warned us against unhygienic practices and the dangers of eating uncooked meat without highlighting the difference between what they discourage as compared to the ritual of eating raw Sashimi popular amongst the Japanese, abalone and Yee Sang as for the Chinese, and steaks done rare in the West. Were there viruses all along involving marine animals and the mutation of it as well that we do not know of?

More than ever, even when the practice of poaching for wild meats must end for reasons of conservation, wild life should not be made the convenient scapegoat for someone else’s shoddy hygiene and animistic tendency. In Southeast Asia, perhaps all these exotic meats were all well cooked except for the blood of snakes consumed with brandy. Has wasabi something to do with the annihilation of parasites found in raw meats the same way it was believed that brandy can do that to blood? Maybe but who knows?

There are other instances such as this which if left unanswered or unresolved, will quickly lead to more conspiracy theories regarding its outbreak. Biological or chemical leakages is high on the list, not helped by Wuhan’s close proximity to the viral research institute. There are also concerns linking them to the West’s marginalization of China over its meteoric economic rise. Can we blame the speculators from speculating?

As the world anticipates in suspense over the confirmed root cause and source of the virus, epidemicians the world over together with WHO are working around the clock to curb its lethal spread and eradication, besides developing a convincing antidote. Meanwhile, face masks and hand sanitizers flew off shelves like hot cakes as unlucky victims collapses one by one like dead flies. The question is should all the innocent humankind pay for the inoculation, injection or oral servings of antidotes to these global pharmaceuticals concerns if ever they found one?

Meanwhile, what can responsible citizens do to help contain and arrest the widespread blunder rather than seeking others to blame for the mistakes?

Social responsibility should start at home and the practice of self quarantine for those unwell seems best to retard the spread. Refraining from going out unnecessarily and if possible, postponing trips abroad is necessary. Hygiene and the constant usage of masks and hand sanitizers, washing of body parts that comes in contact with supermarket trolleys, lift buttons and door handles, does better for those who are compelled to go out particularly to places where a high volume of traffic is encountered.

We must also realize that this problem aren’t the fault of animals but people and people alone. How it is transmitted, where it is transmitted, the fear of being infected is very real because the virus is practically invisible to the naked eye, is carried by the wind and one may not know if he or she is infected or is a carrier so, stay safe everyone!

Sins of the Father

“A child cannot be held responsible for the sins of his father nor his forefathers. To hold onto grudges that happen 2000 years ago or even 100 is a mathematical bloop and a strange blame game.. Like as if this generation can predict the fetish or uncanny tendencies of generations born before him or that you have conveniently pinpointed someone to be the cause of your circumstance today. Revenge cannot appease ones soul, especially the nasty, bloody ones designed to terrify onlookers and tourists. Open up your mind and fill it with peace so that others may find peace within you and spread love, so that love can find its way back to you.”

Bequeathed to the Poor

There are moments to be compassionate and there are moments worthy to celebrate. Not to celebrate but dwell in compassion is giving up that one joyous moment of contagious happiness when it should never be caged at all.And that is how during christmas, the spirit of giving and sharing beit to your loved ones and those that deserves compassion becomes meaningful even if it is just a simple meal bequeathed to the poor or downtrodden.

Sacred

“A statue or figurine is only considered sacred after it has been consecrated by a religious or priest beit in a rite or proper religious ceremony thus to determine if a statue is sacred or not, will never be known because the action of consecration may only involve the laying of hands and the recitation of certain appropriate text whilst others may involve stippling the statue/figurine with ink, the adornment with a chasuble, stole or a garment of some kind including fresh flowers or in other cases, the insertion of certain pulverized ashes inside a carved hole which was then plugged in. Thus without such obvious evidence present on a statue or figurine, one can only guess if a statue or figurine is sacred. Herein provenance becomes an important criteria because if that particular statue was proven to have sat inside a temple before, one can almost be certain that the figurine mentioned is indeed sacred. Anyhow in a way, it does enhance the value but put you into trouble if the origin is an important sacred site, if that is what you are interested in.”

Communism

“When you take from the left hand and give it to the right, that is communism. When you depend entirely on your government for handouts, that is also communism. If your father rewards your brother equally as he did you even when you work hard for him but your brother did not, that again is communism. Ironically, communism is very much alive in our culture, despite us being a democracy. China, a communist country, also happens to be our biggest lenders. Don’t you know that?

I am surprised why you are so surprised.”

Save Our World

“Man cannot befriend another man even though they are just next to them. Man cannot befriend another man, not unless they recognize some similarities between them. Without the similarities, they will appear defensive and many a time, hostile, when they don’t see eye to eye with you on things that mattered. Those similarities are created, sadly, using religion, race, origin, status, and common interest as a divide. And that is really a shame.

The internet is a wonderful platform that enables humans to bind together, worldwide. That brings about huge possibilities for people across borders to befriend one another. It is an invisible bridge that connects us. They say it has become a borderless world. But the grounded reality is, even neighboring countries still stays disconnected due to strict border controls. One still needs visa approval to cross borders, passports to verify your origin and screening laws they claim protect themselves against aliens like you.

It’s a laughing shame that humans cannot accept other humans as their own. Many fail to recognize that we are of one race. The human race. They color code you, like how their forefathers color coded your ancestors and insisted you not to betray what they believed in. They teach you how to bear grudges against their enemies for another two millennium. They want you to make their enemies, your own. The impatient uses you to seek revenge promising you martyrdom .If you don’t, you’d be considered a heresy in need of deliverance. In extreme cases, they sent you straight to heaven first, with the mindset vested in them to look at you as the devil when you are all human inside. Unfortunately this divide happens all the time between believers of different denominations, sometimes between the same denomination attending different temples. Family members with different beliefs continue to stay broken. As if we don’t have another choice. Or do we?

As humans, all of us are endowed with only one brain. We can choose to think good, or we can choose to think bad. Not unless you are born a freak of course. Likewise, we have only one tongue. We can choose to speak good, or we may choose to speak bad. So indeed, we do have choices to think or express ourselves. And to look the other way when we see or hear foolishness blasting on the main media everyday. We can all react correctly if we wanted to.

On the other hand, we can choose to be affected and get distracted by all the silliness happening around the world. Still, there is instinctively a clear choice for us. Be it to think positively, or negatively, given situations that appears to be unpleasant.

My personal appeal to everyone is to try to react correctly and help save this world. Our world. If we don’t, God will come. And show us how to compromise through our shortcomings. Maybe you want that to happen. To show to your God how weak you are. Even when you are made in his image? I don’t.

Be a master of your own destiny. Be weary of those who seek similarities using religion, race, origin, creed, status, and common interest as a divide. That can unduly break up friendship, acquaintanceship, even families. Save our world.”

Alien

“As usual, Malaysians are divided over an ‘alien’ just because he shares the same religion with the majority.

If religion were to be the pride and pillar of his preaching, then he should start making sense of his patriotism and loyalty by promoting peace than risking his permanent resident status by insinuating provocatively.

And if religion were to be the pride and pillar of our country that you have to side your good brother even though he misbehaves, then be God’s good example. Forgive the rest since you allow yourself to forgive him.

It doesn’t help the country one bit by being petty as you picket with the wicked with your prick dangling outside your zip as if that has become your brain or mouthpiece or something…”

Look Middle East Policy?

“Look East policy is today Look Middle East policy? Surely this can’t be the education revamp for Malaysia Baru? Forcing khat writing down SRJKs throat? Blaming them for the exodus of Malay school kids from SRKs? Isn’t it clear this is a populist approach designed to enhance some incapable politicians career whilst escalating racial tensions by scapegoating the Chinese and Indians schools for teaching their own language freely? Can anyone learn khat without first knowing how to speak and write Arab? And how may I know does khat writing, quota maintaining and changing from white shoes to black helps in the development of holistic education? How?

Rest assure I am not proud to highlight this!

Of molehills and beehives

“The meaning and purpose of life become clearer when we look closer at the ants and the bees. As earthlings, we are all destined to build kingdoms just like they do, their many molehills and hives, amidst all the grandeur the kingdom of God has to offer. Except that as people, our ways are a little more complex than theirs given that we were deprived of feathers,furs and fins but was endowed with grey matters significantly larger than theirs. And we got sidetracked somehow whilst building the biggest molehill on earth, we wanted it to touch the Sky. But as the story goes, God did not allow it to happen. Anyway, so eventually, the whole world will, if fate would have it, come together as one, if all of us fight for a common good to save our planet from destruction, and build and build sensible things within and beyond. What we do with ourselves daily as we contribute to the growth is the little little rejoices and surprises we are rewarded with for efforts well spent just like the ants and the bees, occasionally stumbling upon some exotic nectar, or upsets even, as they fall into pit-holes and traps.”

Kris Lee 2019.

False Reasonings

“Lift off the veil and you’d see clearer. Take off your shoes and you’d understand pain. For what which has clouded you from truth and what which has protected you from thorns, is what that has basked you in comfort all this while, blinding you with false reasonings. Take them all off and wisdom shall once again, be yours”.

Faith and it’s Challenges

“Heaven speaks to us through our sight. How we feel after, we must allow what goes on in our head to balance what goes on into our heart measuring it with goodness and responsibility. With or without your faith bothering you.

Challenges are everywhere. Challenges stems from our desire. And It is not only about ghostly spirits, evil charms or practices that could harm your inner temple. Challenges has appeared in the form of a stack of cash deposited to you as a cashier of a bank. Challenges can also appear as an image of a harmless fully clothed woman. Or even a camel when there is no woman in sight. How can a woman who throughout her existence be a friend to many but be raped then murdered just because she appears to be a threat to someone else’s desire?

Thus, are we suppose to make things appear and disappear from our sight at our convenience just because it tempts our desire? And get rid of every single element in front of us just because it goes against our faith?

Who are we to impose such rules upon others who could even be better in tackling challenges than us just because your faith said no? Who are we to get rid of things that God makes? Like pigs for instance. For if it is not worth God’s measure to include pigs into the animal kingdom, would pigs have appeared? Isn’t this world God’s creation?

So change your mindset my friend. I say to you that these things aren’t threats. Things that appear as threats to you is not necessarily a threat to others. Your threat stems from your desire. You may have a weakness for tv but to someone else, it could be ice cream. And if your desire is ice cream, your threat if went uncontrolled resulted in diabetes. And if your desire is liquor or sex, it may destroy the relationship you have with your wife and family. I have a group of friends who delivers and exorcise spirits. Today they are still alive and helping others. They did not become part of the evil spirit exorcised. Thus, the real threat my friend, lies within you yourself for not being able to control your own desires. Temptations and desire is your threat. Not what others do.

You can lock up a person but not his spirit and soul , or how they were created and endowed with. But a dance that originates way before the existence of your God and his teachings? Let it be. Regard it as a sport, entertainment and tradition that was passed down to you and abandoning it means cutting off an element which will make your whole existence questionable because bits and pieces were torn off your flesh which makes you unidentifiable. Be proud of your origin.

Your education and journey in faith came later as you begin to read and write. Faith didn’t teach us how to walk and run. That is a trait that came first through creation. Man was made to walk first. Man could do things way before God appears into their lives as faith.

Thus, control your desires at all times, so that your faith remains strong. Not control the externals that you feel could tempt you. Let others live the way they are called to. To put it in another way, you are in no position to be accused or punished for the sins they commit.

Let your faith be the light and example for others to see in the darkness. Let your example be known that others may follow you. But if keeping faith means punishing, ridiculing and barring others to live the life they choose so you could climb to heaven and not be tempted, let me say this to you. No one will follow you or your way of life unless it is by duress. And if that is the case, then, you need to reinspect your faith.

Listen to your inner voice at all times.”

A Better Denominator

Sports is a better denominator for world peace. It speaks a common lingo the whole world understands. And sportsmanship rules are abided by every participant. Those who breaks it gets penalized beit banned, disqualified or having their titles stripped off in disgrace. No need for weapons.

Those in business also knows that most deals got done on the golf courses than in the boardroom.

Thus from where we came from, in our own country, some arseholes need to learn that centuries old disputes could be settled backdoor because of friendship inculcated through sports. Instead of using it to create more tension.

Perhaps some arseholes should learn how not to get emotional and mind other people’s business, when our own train has jumped track eversince.

Civil Liberty

Nothing infringes the civil liberties of man more than uncivilized man, who uses the basis of your belief more oftenly your religion, to reshape you to whom they like you to be, so they can control you, and use you to their liking.