Five year old Tabitha walks up to her Mummy one day whilst she was washing the dishes. She points directly at her mum’s tits and asks what they are for.
Mummy is taken by surprise. She wasn’t expecting this conversation for some while so she was a tad unprepared. So she says the first thing that comes into her head.
“Well,” she says, “these are my balloons, right?. Now then, if for some sad reason I die, Daddy can blow up my balloons so that I may float away to heaven. D’you see?”
Tabitha seems to accept this and goes away. Mummy congratulates herself on her quick-wittedness.
This smug feeling lasts just one week.
One afternoon Tabitha bursts into the kitchen really distraught.
“Mummy, Mummy! Come quickly. It’s the Au pair girl. I think she is dying!!!”
“Whatever do you mean?” asks Mummy rapidly drying her hands.
“D..D..Daddy is on top of her an’.. an’ he’s holding her down while he blows up her balloons.” stumbles little Tabitha, “an.. an.. an’ she’s shouting “GOD I’M COMING”.