Winking

A man with a winking problem applies for a position as a traveling salesman and goes in for an interview.

“Looking at your resume, I can see that you’re more than qualified”, says the interviewer. “Unfortunately, we can’t have our sales reps constantly winking at customers, so we can’t hire you”, adds the interviewer.

“But wait”, says the man. “If I take two aspirin, I stop winking”.

“Then show me”, replies the interviewer.

So the guy reaches into his pants pocket and pulls out a pile of condoms in all different shapes, sizes, and colors before finally finding a packet of aspirin. He pops the pills and immediately stops winking.

“It’s great. You stopped winking”, says the interviewer, “but we can’t have our salesmen womanizing all over the country”.

“What do you mean?”, asks the man. “I’m happily married”.

“How do you explain all the condoms?” asks the interviewer.

“Oh, that”, sighs the man. “Have you ever walked into a pharmacy, winking, and asked for aspirin?”…

(Author Unknown)

Mailman ate him

Little Tommy walks in on his parents having sex, and asks his dad, “Dad, why are you on top of Mommy?” and the dad says, “Well Tommy, remember when you said you wanted a little brother? I’m putting the baby into Mommy!”

A couple of weeks later Tommy is crying, and his dad says, “Tommy, why are you crying?”, and Tommy says, “I’m not gonna have a little brother!”

The dad says, “But don’t you remember, you saw me putting the baby into Mommy?”, and Tommy says, “Yes, but yesterday morning, the mailman ate him!”

(Author Unknown)

Quickie

A young man was tucking his shirt in after a quickie in the back seat with a girl he’d recently met. He felt a little contrite and said to her, Gee, if I’d known you were a virgin, I would have taken more time. The girl: Really?? If I’d known you would have taken more time, I would have taken my panty hose off.

(Author Unknown)