Fair is 25 bucks

A young man and his date were parked on a back road some distance from town. They were about to have sex when the girl stopped. “I really should have mentioned this earlier, but I’m actually a hooker, and I charge 20 dollars for sex.” The man reluctantly paid her, and they did their thing. After a cigarette, the man just sat in the driver’s seat looking out the window. “Why aren’t we going anywhere?” asked the girl. “Well, I should have mentioned this before, but I’m actually a Uber driver, and the fare back to town is 25 bucks.”

(Author Unknown)

Neidder Did I

An Irishman is walking home late at night and sees a woman in the dark shadows.

‘Thirty euros,’ she whispers.

Murphy had never been with a hooker before, but decides what the hell, it’s only thirty euros.

So they hid in the bushes.
They’re going ‘at it’ for a minute, when all of a sudden a light flashes on them.

It is the police.

‘What’s going on here, people?’ asks the cop.

‘I’m making love to me wife,’ Paddy answers, sounding annoyed.

‘Oh, I’m sorry,’ says the cop, ‘I didn’t know.’

‘Well, neidder did I, til ya shined that bloody light in her face”.

(Author Unknown)

Bottoms too heavy

“The real cluster in not only from factories. The real cluster comes from our own home. Four kids with parents, grandparents living together while sharing the same meal. Then there are the workers, not only in factories, cramping in a small apartment without open windows or proper fire escape and sharing everything. The real cluster are the provisions we buy home and not wiping them clean. And then there are the superhero citizens, not only food sellers, preparers and deliverers but everyone who can’t adhere to easy sops, jogging and cycling in the open without masks on, still defying rules to stop socialising. And then there is the government, imposing curfews, forcing clusters to happen. Spending rm 330 million to set up tents nationwide etc when money could have been better spent elsewhere. Vaccination could have been easily facilitated through drive-throughs by the use of schools throughout the country. It’s better without air conditioning. All you need is 3 staff nurses and a security guard at each spot, a cold box van, and an app to register who has taken and who has not, administered by one of the staff nurse. Throughout Penang you only need thirty staff nurses and 10 cold box van and 19 security guards at 10 locations.
With these things you do, you eliminate clusters .
But it seems you can’t think well, and nip problems in the bud. Your bottoms are too heavy, your heads are too light, and your heart is only set on corruption. That’s why.”
– Kris Lee 2021.