1. What’s the difference between stress, tension and panic?
Stress is when wife is pregnant;
Tension is when girlfriend is pregnant;
Panic is when both are pregnant!
2. Grammar Teacher: Do you know the importance of a period?
Kid: Yeah, once my sister said she has missed one, my mom fainted, dad got a heart attack & our driver ran away!
3. A young boy asks his Dad: “What is the difference between confident and confidential?”
Dad says: “You are my son, I’m confident about that.
Your friend over there, is also my son, that is confidential!”
4. A bookseller conducting a market survey asked a woman,
“Which book has helped you most in your life?”
The woman replied , “My husband’s cheque book!”
5. A prospective husband in a book store:
“Do you have a book called, Husband the Master of the House? ”Sales Girl :
“Sir, Fiction and Comics are on the 1st floor!
6. Someone asked an old man : “Even after 70 years, you still call your wife “Darling, Honey, Love.” What’s the secret?”
Old man : “I forgot her name and I’m too scared to ask her!”
7. Wife : I wish I was a newspaper. So I’d be in your hands all day.
Husband : I too wish that you were a newspaper. So I could have a new one every day!