Funny short Jokes 1

1) DON’T LOOK AT NAKED LADY

Boy 1: Why do you run from a naked lady?

Boy 2: Because my mum said that if I look at a naked lady, I’ll turn into stone. A part of me is getting hard already!

(2) NAMES OF WIVES

A man had 4 wives, and he called his…

4th wife….. baby doll

3rd wife…..china doll

2nd wife…..barbie doll

1st wife….. panadol !

(3) HOW INDIA GOT ITS NAME

This is how India got its name…..

The king was having sex with his mistress while thinking a name of his country and his mistress ask him “is it In Dear?”…

(4) RESEARCH FINDING

Research shows men are fatter than women because every-night men get fresh milk & 2 big papayas, while women only get 1 banana, 2 peanuts & 1tea-spoon of starch!

(5) ARAB MAN

An arab was being interviewed at a US checkpoint.

‘Your name pls.’?

“Abdul Aziz ”

“Sex? ”

“Six times a week!! ”

“No, no, I mean male or female! ”

“Doesn’t matters, sometimes even camel !”

(6) SERVICE

Sex is like a restaurant.

Sometimes you get full satisfactory service, and sometimes you have to be satisfied with self-service”

(7) HAPPY MAN

What makes a happy man?

Daughter on the cover of cosmo.

Son on the cover of sports illustrated.

Mistress on the cover of playboy

and…

Wife on the cover of “missing persons”

(8) SWIMSUIT

Why was the 2-piece swimsuit invented?

To separate the HAIRY section

from the DAIRY section.

(9) GOOD AMBITION

Teacher: What do you want to become?

Little Johnny: Doctor !!

Teacher: Why?

Little Johnny: Because it is the only profession where you can tell a woman to take off her clothes and ask her husband to pay for it.

(10) DENTIST

Woman complaining to dentist:

“It’s so painful, I’ll rather have a baby than have a tooth removed.”

Dentist: “Make up your mind soon, I’ll adjust the chair accordingly.”

(11) VIRGIN

Old lady, 85, a virgin, about to die. wanted her tombstone to read : BORN A VIRGIN, LIVED A VIRGIN, DIED A VIRGIN.

The engraver shortened it to: ” RETURNED UNOPENED ”

(12) OLD MAN AND YOUNG GIRL

75 yr old man got married to a 15 year girl.

On their first night both were crying.

Why ?

Because she didn’t know anything,

and he had forgotten everything!

(Author Unknown)

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