we can no longer be great
if we choose to distance
we cannot yield strength
lest we could both moat
and soak clean the distress
and till we cuddle back
in pampery smiley unity
we can no longer be great..
.
.
.
Advertisements
we can no longer be great
if we choose to distance
we cannot yield strength
lest we could both moat
and soak clean the distress
and till we cuddle back
in pampery smiley unity
we can no longer be great..
.
.
.
wise,
I am sorry that I won’t know your entry unless you notify me…
thanks!
love the spirits in your words,
talented writing!
😉
tq ji..
Pingback: Thursday Poets Rally Week 25 (July 22-July 28) | Jingle
Short and sweet 🙂 We no longer great but we still will be able to change something in life in somehow ;D
thank you riika and feel free to browse anytime..
I will definitely come back for more;D
greatness in unity– on both a wide and personal plane– nicely done. My rondeau for this week is up now– I just missed your last visit. http://mairmusic.wordpress.com/
haha nvm- 🙂
Nice piece..United we stand, it takes more that one wall to make a house…bravo…bkm
hey tq soul..
heavy.. i like it a lot!
great name oinky..
that was the feeling I got too. sounds like one written from the heart. hard to read, harder to comment on. fiveloaf, i sure hope this is fiction.
no almond- this is true to life.. sigh!
You employ an interesting combination of strength and unity that is then softened by ‘cuddley’. Hmm.
hey 47- surprise visit! hv not heard from you since!
haha.. this was good!!! I like the irony you’ve pointed out here.. truly truly a good one!!
Greatness is acknowledged only when displayed. And the act of displaying itself reduces that very greatness by a few degrees…
LOVE IT !!!! Simply stated truths..
hi kavita- you are now everyones greatest fan!
Am i now?? Hmm.. Deserving works make fans out of people like me! 🙂 Like yours, for instance
I agree totally. Very much enjoyed this. – Bill
thanks bill..
fiveloaf short and to the point I like that!
Pamela
hey tq for dropping by pam and feel free to browse anytime!
I agree on this one…so much truth in what you wrote!! Awesome x
haha hi!!!!! thank you!
it is only in the coming together that we will ever accomplish anything great…so true…so true…
wow! you really read.. 🙂
I like the way you structured this.
It really works.
Great poem
hey thanks buddy– you did well too!
We have to life this life day by day and change what we can. Nice poem. 🙂
hey doraz- thank you!
Brief and powerful. I agree with you!
tq never..
Nice use of language and tempo.
Peace
Gil
🙂 thanks gill
Such wise thoughts in this short poem!! I totally agree..! very nice!
tq ilakya..
short n sweet
n i agree:):)
hey my buddy- thanks..
awesome! i loved it
thank you irra..
Fiveloaf
You always amaze me — wow me — get me to ponder, oh the irony of deep thinkers, soar like eagles. Very nice!
Joanny
thanks joanny..
it’s very chant like, something to be said over a fire. The line structure( that fill-the-column) really lends to that.
thank you greg..:)
Joining with you for greatness! Love this uplifting thought. Heartspell
😉 thanks heartspell
Love the word ‘pampery’.
very neatly laid out and economical use of words to create great image!
thanks jessica
This is a seriously interesting piece of writing.
I very much like your style.
Cheers.
hey gyatso- appreciate that!
Your poem has a very solid tempo to it! Very nicely done!
-Weasel
hey thank you weasel.. i really love short poems that says alot.. so once in awhile i do haikus
Haiku’s are an interesting form, but I haven’t done many. I can never get them to “feel” right. It always has an awkward feel when I write them. Oh well, practice should fix that right? LOL!
-Weasel
Before I forget, you’ve got a blog award!
http://systematicweasel.wordpress.com/2010/07/24/one-lovely-blog-award/
very concise and strong, good job, fiveloaf, love this 🙂
thank you imagina- have i ever introduced you to my past poems like “true love waits” and “scented flowers”? really appreciate your comments..
no you haven’t.. but i’ll gladly check them out 🙂
i got lost in your wonderful massive collection of writings, Kris 😀 My you are such a productive and experienced writer 🙂 could you give me the link for those two specific poem? TY
right thanks..
https://fiveloaf.wordpress.com/2010/03/05/scented-flowers/
https://fiveloaf.wordpress.com/2009/12/23/true-love-waits/
here it is imagina- you could also use the search box at the top right of my blog, type the title on and press “enter” on your comp keyboard.. thanks again..
beautifully written! kudos!
thank you alejandra..
sounds like the same sentiment here… there are days like this. you are indeed a brilliant poet!
http://pinklady-bing.blogspot.com/2010/07/note-to-my-child.html
tq pink!
like the way this ties itself up at the end–comes full circle, putting even more emphasis on your point. nice.
hey tq siubhan
Love your language and tempo–strong message! Good job!
🙂
Soulful and true. Unity is all . . . wonderful sentiment, beautifully expressed. Thank you! Happy Rally!
thank you jamie..
Great poem.
hey thanks akneis.. cheers! and welcome to my blog..
I agree, very nice!
thanks mist..
lovely poem, I really like it!
thank you deadpoet 88..
kind of reminds me of an old song title “Islands in A Stream” seperated but yet with a means of reconnecting..a sort of two becoming one without losing eithers individuality..
really? haha ok..
So much truth in so few words with a twist of irony…brilliant!
thanks suzi..
i agree….very soulful…
thanks alethea.. 🙂
lovely
tq reedssss
Pingback: Awards from Jingle « Imagina's Pages
very true.
tq trish..
wise words. cheers
tq dustus..
Pingback: Poems, Dreams, and Poets-The Highlight of Thursday Poets Rally week 25 | Promising Poets' Parking Lot
?
Pingback: The Celebrate Poet of July Award Nominations Announcement | Promising Poets' Parking Lot
??
Pingback: Agreement 4 Rally Week 25 | Promising Poets' Parking Lot
whats this jingle?
Pingback: 2010 in review « fiveloaf