pagoda

when the house

that we built

gets too big

can we still feel

what once was near

what once was dear

to us?

.

when it towers

over the trees

like a pagoda

can we still view

what once was near

what once was dear

to us?

.

when fame and fortune

would one day

engulf  its wings over us

can we still feel

can we still view

what once was near

what once was dear

to us?

.

.

.

97 responses to “pagoda

  1. thought this was a wonderful poem. nice job conveying the concern for an uncertain future in the relationship. Bravo!

  2. oh no you’re fine. I believe as poets we have a specific message we want to send to the reader in addition to the open opinions the work may inspire. that’s just the way of poetry. I’ve never explained my work either, except for on a few occasions 🙂

    • as it gets bigger so does distance widens relationships. in many cases, problems set in when one party needed to occupy their entire waking hours with the immediacy of sustaining their success and the expenses that comes with it.. tq rikka..

    • thanks gigi ann- on uncertainties so shall it be viewed from. and from chances so shall it be carved.. thank you for dropping by and feel free to browse as and when..

  3. This is simply beautiful Fiveloaf….now this poem of yours reminds of my daughter’s sentiment or rather commented that if her Dad and I will build again a new house, we should make it small enough so we can still elbow each other and not a big one where we can’t no longer feel or view each other!

    This poem of yours made me smile thinking of my dear daughter’s simple wish!

  4. I read the house, it’s spaciousness no longer needed. But I read further than that…wealth maybe blocking the view of much more important life things. I like how you subtly added to the list of things to wonder about as well as the house. Nice writing! 🙂

  5. I have a similar fear; years from now, will my love and I still feel as strongly about each other? Will our home still feel like a home? Will we still be building our dreams together? I almost feel that I could have written something akin to this, although worded or styled differently.

    And btw, thanks for the kind comment on my post! 🙂

  6. If life, many things change. But certainly not everything!
    Like the quality of your poems! That’s consistently good…

    I liked the honesty in the questions asked here…
    Great work, FL!

  7. Pingback: 2010 in review « fiveloaf

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